holidays- already =D

Hello humans =)

I can't believe it, first term has already flown by and it's already Christmas! Now I should be writing a good post about Christmas soon enough.. but I just want to say AHHHH JESUS LOVES ME =D well, and everyone else too haha! Be thankful guys, celebrate Him like no other!!
I just can't believe how this term passed me by so quickly.. oh and I am proud to say that other than being sick or my teachers not coming for the lesson- I have not missed ANY lessons this term- WOOT!!
Oh and yey, tomorrow, being the last day of school, everyone piles up in the road and basically bluebar gets enlarged by a lot XD and this year, we have t-shirts *thanks to mina =D* !!
Yeyyy! So come and join the fun at 10am bahaha >.<

Mwa, God bless you all!!

happy birthday to me =)

Hello world =)

Sorry, haven't been posting but I've been pretty busy at the moment, funnily enough- with homework! Ahh, see- I really am a nerd =P

So this past week was very, ermm, random XP last tuesday dan was brutely publicly humiliated and I got it all on tape muahaha *his video recorder* and theeeen he got sick and I was just about healed and BAMM, wednesday night my asthma killed me and I didn't leave the house till this morning to go to school apart from thursday night to cut my hair and going to the poly clinic and the emergency unit at mater dei XD haha, breathing sucks >.<>

And now, for the last time, I can truthfully sing:

I am sixteen going on seventeen, I know that I'm naiiiiiive.
Fellows i meet may tell me I'm sweet and willingly I belieeeeeve.
I am sixteen going on seventeen, innocent as a rooooose.
Bachelor dandies, drinkers of brandies, what do I know of thoooose?
Totally unprepared am I to face the world of men.
Timid and shy and scared am I of things beyong my keeeen.
I need someone older and wiser telling me what to doooooo.
You are seventeen going on eighteen,
IIIIII'll depeeeeeend on youuuuuu!

Directed towards kristina cassar of course =P

Ahh guys, God has really blessed me with all of you =) I'm so so grateful!!
So, good night world, see you when I'm a whole year older teehee ^^

"I'm a thief"

Gooood morning humans =)
Ok so I was scrolling down my blog to get to the bottom when I realised that I have a picture up saying "I'M A THIEF" .. BAHAHA!! I got the picture of a crappy pc from the internet and it turned into a black and white statement >.<
SO it got me thinking, am I a thief?
Now I don't steal or anything don't get me wrong, but isn't theft about being dishonest? Am I totally honest with myself and everyone? Am I robbing myself off truths? Or worse, am I taking advantage of my position here? Not living well, glorifying Jesus in His rightful place?
Well, that got me thinking a bit more (quite a lot for 8am, huh?) if I live this life the way I want to, me in a selfish way, then how can I really be praising God 24/7? Is this really the life I want? Because personally I would rather live with nothing than without God. Fine, I'd complain- loads- but there's no doubt. I've realised through the years that nothing can make me happier than God's presence in my life. Yet I still hold on to so many earthly things. Don't get me wrong, I don't mean to make anyone look bad here, but sometimes we really will be living our Christian life well and we unconsciously start to slip randomly. No one is perfect, but I for one need to keep holding on, and I'm sure everyone else does too.
And lastly- if I'm living for me and not for God, isn't that stealing the life He's given me?
So once again, I give my life to You, Lord. Take me, use me and save me. I'm Yours.

slum survived =)

Hello world!
Ok slum survivor was a grand success =D loads of money collected ladida, prayer, support- thanks loads guys, you're changing the world =D
The weather was great, but I honestly wish that it was colder and raining so that we could really show people that we were ready in endure whatever they had to. But, it wasn't in God's plan. God was faithful and provided everything we needed. Luckily nothing that bad happened to any of us, except tine who started puking again *poor cett =(* Kristina, michela and louis didn't end up coming because they were sick poor chickens but were obviously in our prayers too =)
All in all- great weekend, great fellowship, great people!!
Ok I just want to post something that my grandfather told me on sunday night..
"yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery. But today is a gift. Because you're here and you're breathing and you're alive on the whole"
Pretty deep huh? Makes you think. Today may be my last day on earth, or may be the begining of another 60 years, but we never know.
So thank God daily guys, give your life to Him over and over, because He is your only salvation!!
Amen weeeeeeeee Jesus is grand guys ^^
*sorry, it's the sickness =P*

Slum Survivor!!

Hello world,
haven't posted in two weeks =| ..
So today we're slumming once again. The time before was recorded the coldest weekend in malta, and as we all thought that this weekend would most probably be good (weather wise) IT'S NOT =D =D yeyyyy!!
Think I'm mad? Well, yes =P but really, the worse the weather, the more the awareness =D
Now I have to get to school so I'm just asking for your prayers and support =)
Come and donate as much as possible guys, be thankful it's not you who has to fight for your life- daily!!
God bless you allll!!
All glory to God =D

Last year's posts, before and after:
http://rache-777.blogspot.com/2008/02/slum-survivor.html
http://rache-777.blogspot.com/2008/02/pre-slum-survivor-battle.html
http://rache-777.blogspot.com/2008/02/slum-survivor-ultimate-challange.html

contact:
slumsurvivor@y4jmalta.com

yeyy =)

Hello world.
It's sam's birthday today *happy birthday sam* and basically most of us all "dressing up" for his 18th party.. It's like 7pm and I have an hour to fry my hair dress and do both mina and my makeup =P teehee how crazy ^^
Should be a good night, we haven't had a party since danelle, fabian and martina's (I think) and that was insane and WHITE and max's grand LIME party bahaha so it's going to be somewhat different =) what am I saying- should? It's going to be great, we're going to be together and laugh like the losers that we are ^^ as long as we're together, every night is good night.. grand!!
So i think I'm running up to put see if I really am going to wear the dress I cut after all XD
God bless and good night.. and what a good night it shall be =D

school computers..

Haha quick update..

I'm back on a school pc that looks just as bad if not worse than the picture posted, how awesome is that XD ? Haven't been on one in ages and well, tadaaaa I'm here =P
So nothing really to say *mina's here too ^^ along with michaela who happens to think that the pcs are as slow as her when she wakes up* but basically just thought that after blogging quite a few times from school, I should blog as soon as I used a pc up here on the second floor once again =)

how lame lol

God bless you all my chickens =D

a time for everything..

For everything there is a season, a time for every activity under heaven.
A time to be born and a time to die.
A time to plant and a time to harvest.
A time to kill and a time to heal.
A time to tear down and a time to build up.
A time to cry and a time to laugh.
A time to grieve and a time to dance.
A time to scatter stones and a time to gather stones.
A time to embrace and a time to turn away.
A time to search and a time to quit searching.
A time to keep and a time to throw away.
A time to tear and a time to mend.
A time to be quiet and a time to speak.
A time to love and a time to hate.
A time for war and a time for peace.

Ecclesiastes 3:1-8


Time passes and hurts heal, yes, but nothing can heal you the way Jesus can..

For those of you who are in pain, alone, hurt, depressed, confused, lost- anything- you are not alone, I can assure you that God's holding your hand all the way through even if it seems like you've been abandoned. He's feeling the way you are, passing through your pain with you. "Jesus wept" John 11:35

For others in times of great content and happiness, praise the Lord for He is sooo good guys..
"Sing to him; sing praises to him;tell of all his wondrous works!" 1 Chronicles 16:9

prayer, PLEASE!

Guys I'm going to be mega selfish and just ask you all to pray for me.. Actually, I'm begging you!
I just can't take it anymore.

loving myself?

Ello ello.
So, I've left some time pass since my last post. I'm not going to apologize for being rude perhaps or anything of the sort cos I truly meant what I said, I just hope that no one got offended..
Ok on saturday we had the youth mass. Now I haven't been to a youth mass in donkey's years because of work and all so it was really fun to be back at one =) Tara gave her testimony *well done babe!* and honestly it was really touching, it was very evident that it was totally sincere =) And then the priest went on with the homily and stuff but basically it was all about loving yourself.
It made me think.
How much do I love myself? Honestly- barely =\
Seriously, I've spent so much time trying to change this and alter that ladida..
Why have I never been good enough?
It's all superficial, not important!! Yes, it would be amazing to be skinny, ahh simply pefect- but I'm not. Yes, it sucks that I'm practically the only one who isn't skinny in my group of friends, in practically all of my lessons, in my school, in the world damn it, but it's not that important! Yet why do I keep hasseling? Why must I be so obsessed? Why have I spent all my life being 'the fat one'?
But then, why does the world make me feel so bad about myself? Why can't I be accepted for the size10 that I am, and not a size 6? Why must everyone go around looking like a stick in order to be 'normal'?
Ahhhh it's just so annoying!
And as much as I know that I'm doing this in vain because I'll never stop being so paranoid.
But then I find hope. God loves me because even though I may look like a dull piece of scrunched paper, in his eyes, I'm the most beautiful girl ever- and I'm worth more than the world =)

Hello world..
I've been going through photos to upload a few random ones onto facebook together with a couple of 'important events' as a whole album or so and I just want to say this and come clean with everyone so to speak..
What the hell is wrong guys?!!
Why has everyone changed so much? Why aren't we the close group that we were just a couple of months ago? How is it that I've seemed to have lost people that I considered my best friends? Why has everyone become so judgmental? What are we all doing with ourselves?
And the list can keep on going..
Guys haven't you realized that we've totally split? Don't try to deny it, everyone's realized. No one has remained the same and I'm sorry to be the one to say it, it's not for the good!! Whether people have changed or not, this situation sucks!! Honestly, how can you keep going on with your lives as if nothing has happened between us?
Really, I would usually care if someone was to get offended by this, but to 100% honest, I'm so fed up that you can be sure that I'm the only one being honest enough to bring it out into the open.
Go on, comment- judge.. I don't care, at least I know that I'm human enough to admit to missing everyone's support and love for each other, I'm not proud. I thought we were mature enough, but we're evidently not.
Just to remind you guys, we're all sinners, every one of us- we've all made mistakes.
I'm just really sick of people passing comments and pretending to be people they're not, because in the long run, they're going to eventually explode and return to what they really are- human!!
Think about it guys, it's been going on for ages- what is wrong? Seriously, try and come up with valid points as to why everything has gone haywire.. I promise you, it's pathetic.
Uff guys- wake up!! You have no clue how much we need each other in this world! The persecution is bad enough when we face reality. These petty problems between us has driven each other apart, don't you think we need to remain united in order to really be God's light and change the world in His name?
I really don't mean to be harsh, but there's nothing else left to do I guess, and you know me- I'm an honesty fan.
Maybe it's just me, but it's all sems so wrong =(

vans =D

Ahhhhh my vans have finally arrived guys.. And they're awesome!! lool and above is their mini photoshoot, cos I'm a loser ^
Gleeee sorry just really happy haha.
For those of you who don't know the story, when I went to scotland in july, I absolutely fell in love with a pair of shoes and once I'm poor (lol at that time I wasn't, I was just told that we weren't going to shop *lies- we did 2 hours XD* so I didn't take any money up with me) and my mum didn't want to lend me any money.. Well, I didn't get them *boohoo*
Now i finally managed to order them off ebay and tadaaaaaaaa they've arrived =D
BEAUTIFUL!!
Ahh I'm very happy lool!
So good night to you all and I'll see most of you tomorrow at school and don't forget to look at my sexy new shoes =D .. They deserve to be worshiped >.< loooool no I'm joking, only God deserves that kinda glory =P
good night God bless ^^



YEYYYY SHOESSSSSSSSSSSSSS =D =D =D =D

Hey guys,
I was just throwing out all my old, useless batches of file paper from my previous attempt at first year =P
Well, I found a couple of cool doodles/drawings/poems/prayers/paragraphs/stuff lol but I just want to share this..

Brokeness is chasing loneliness that's drowned by emptyness, but by Your gracefulness I'm lifted from this mess.
I'll soon be free- I know I will and then they'll see how my worthlessness is worthy of the love You're giving me.

I don't know why, but I really felt that I should post it. I'm not feeling lonely, not at all. But I just watched 23 minutes in hell and even though it really has nothing to do with it, but I feel we really need to pray for the people who don't believe in Jesus and even more- for the christians that don't believe in hell. It's so real and it's here. And maybe it effects me more than some people because of something that I've read and I know how real demons are. Don't get me wrong, I'm not more 'educated' or aware of the situation we're in, but I just am so terrified after having found out a couple of things.
We've already won guys, victory is ours. But as in every battle, people die.
Soooo, just keep praying because God's glory will shine over the earth as promised and we're so blessed to have been saved =D
God bless ^^

happy birthday ^^

Hello humans!!

Sorry for neglecting my blog even more than ever really. But before you call me lazy, the internet hasn't been working in my room and wasn't letting me sign in downstairs =\ so anyways, now I've managed and what a perfect day to blog- my third year of being a 'real Christian'.. graaaand =D !!

So school's great and life's great and the y4j live-in was great *fourth one i've been to, my I'm growing old*. And just to mention, I didn't end up sleeping at the westin (my mum didn't let me in the end) I've missed absolutely NO lessons and gleeee I'm loving the new art teacher and he loves me too lool so it's graaaaand because I don't even have to suck up! niiiice!!

Ok since I last blogged I've moved and restarted school, changed my relationship status and have officially been a properly devoted Christian for three years- how awesome is that?!!

Junior college is the best place in the world and really, I'm loving my new class groups even though I miss my old ones. Though it's really funny, I'm with my old art class for hoa (history of art) so the old witch thinks I'm a second year, that is until she teaches me in 6 weeks and realises that I've repeated XD I have pretty great teachers, I just really miss mr philosophy loads though my new teacher is damn good so things are really working my way. I still have vanni pule' teaching me and this year it's shakespeare so he can be all dramatic without any excuses which will be funny. And luckily it's the ONLY 8am lesson I have so if i arrive late he'll understand- because he loves me ^^
My time table is pretty good, still stuck with a crappy thursday though >.< lesson =" But">

So I'm in a really good mood (despite being absolutely knackered after a very loooong day of school consisting of english *fourth floor*, double art *basement*, religion *third floor*, art *basement*, english *third floor* - a free *bluebar/dukes/bluebar* - biology *elevated*) and I'm just exploding with Jesusness at the moment ^^

It's just that these three years have been the most amazing adventure of my life! Following Christ has made me who I am and I'm proud of my old self, everything that I've done adds to my testimony and now that I have God and my relationship with Him is growing daily, it's developing and I have so much to say I may just never stop!! It's so grand to just wake up and live in Jesus, it's just so- awesome really! Ahhhhh God is good guys, He really is =) So happy birthday to my faith haha, it's something I'll NEVER look back at- no regrets =D He's just built me and defined me and there's no one else who I can ever be so open with, who will ever let me be so alive and who I'll ever trust so much. I've truely found MY best friend =D

So I think I may go because the mother made coleslaw and I'm quite the fan =P

So a big thanks to all of you who have helped me on my journey to reaching this stage in my life- you're the bestest!!

God bless you all, see most of you tomorrow at school/out =D

I love you all, BUT JESUS LOVES YOU MOREEEEE!!!!!!!!!!

a whole new world..

Hello world,
I am officially blogging from my room and not from the crappy slow stone aged laptop that I tend to steel from my dad =D finally, internet connection in up in my room thanks to rob *love you!!* and I can finally say that I don't have to leave my room unless I need to shower and release myself from any unwanted body material =P oh and I guess eat, but that's not really important XD
Ahhh it's going to be so much better now, I won't be falling asleep near the pc so often out of sheer lazyness when it comes to going upstairs to my room- I can just swivel my chair right over to my bed and plonk =D and I'm chucking my crappy stereo downstairs cos now I'll never use it once I have all I need in this horrible 'box of technology' that I happen to love oh so very much =) I have to buy speakers now. My mum got me a set but like, I want to get better ones so I'm going to change them.. thinking of a surround sound by creative or something..
So that's part of my "whole new world", being computerful in my room- glee =D
So tomorrow we're being "spoilt showoffs" (quoted from my mum) and spending the night at the westin XD all I know is that zoe, kris and I are going to be there, I have no clue who else (apart from zoe's elder sister) is coming but yeyyyyy we're going to have such a blast!! We're checking in at half 2 (kris and I are meeting at 1 to see if we can buy her a nice top from baystreet or something lol) and spending the afternoon chilling/swimming/being lazy lol. Then we'll get ready and have a *hopefully* kickass night out, and then head "home" and sleep in one sexy room all together like princesses lool! And wake up for breakfast and then chillax all day by the pool or something XD megaly excited..
So that's the other part hehe. Sometimes I wish that we were all rich and living in a high class society where we have to dress up daily and make an appearance ladida, but really, I'd die by the end of it >.< (I just continued this and when to arrnage it and it all got deleted.. wth!!!!!!!) though seriosuly, I'm fine the way I am. Fine, a little bit *ok maybe a lottle bit more lol* cash would help but I have all I need- my friends, my health *kinda*, my education, my family but most of all- I have Jesus =D and I'm sorry guys, but nothing and no one will EVER take His place.. amen =)
Now I have no clue what else I typed before it all got deleted bloody hell but I guess it couldn't have been thaaaat important if I don't exactly remember it XD I know that I mentioned that I need to see what to take with me and mentioned things like tops, skirt, trousers, bikini *blehh*, towel, undies, shoes, junk food lol. I have my outfit for tomorrow night sorted, I hope hehe, but to go and come and stuff, well, as usual- I'm clueless, and proud hehe.. So that's my addition to a whole new world (living like gossip girl for a day wooooo)
I think I'm dragging on for nothing..
God bless you loads guys, good night
.. off to plonk onto my bed =D .. yeaaah!!

the past two weeks..

Hello world =)
So I haven't posted in a while for my internet wasn't working well over the week when my parents very lovingly abandoned me to a week of fun so I couldn't blog and when it finally started to work again I was caught up with things like work (blehh) and y4j and sleep and going out.. and lazing about- fine!!
So as a responsive update to the former major dilhemma thing, I didn't really have a choice in the matter cos my mum wouldn't let me do otherwise but I see that it is the bestest option possible- behold the master plan..
first year at naxxar as revision and in that way finishing school latest at 3:10 so that I can go home and study. It seems mad, but it really isn't too bad. And this is why..
English A - private lessons, done a year of being half aware and now have another one + study a lot with kris and kat
Art A - I promise to start painting/drawing (had a work meeting and stayed drawing on the paper and got funny yet impressed looks lool) and will actually pay attention and study history
Philosophy I - history and ethics are done, logic and ethics and done at first year in naxxar so I'm covered and I love philosophy
Biology I - private lessons, kris is tutoring me *lol* and school and lots of studying
Relgion I - good notes, bible, study
Soo, that's my plan.
Now if I don't get my As and intermediates this year, I'll do second year next year. Atleast I'll be giving them a try hehe.
So that was school..
In the meantime that week of being an orphan was awesome we had a real great time.. somehow a chair broke and the neighbours complained about the noise but I peronsally think that the funniest was on saturday morning when kris got stuck in my bathroom and had to climb through the window leading to the shaft and then leading to the study- how psyco! We also had a roach attack but that's besides the point haha. Oh and a water/soap/expired beer fight in my garden which all started with gruppetta bringing it all apon himself whilst butting into a conversation between pete and I whilst I was trying to get him not to wet them- it was grand =P so many things, my poor sister got to find out how mad we really are, I think we scared her slightly but then she realised that we're nice people =P actually, I haven't fought with her once since then.. good observation rache =) haha!
Now it's our last week of all being together once de la salle and 2nd year naxxar start next week so we're trying to enjoy it best as possible. Last night we had agreat girls night (and then pete and gruppetta invaded for like half an hour at the end haha) how nuts we're so silly.
My day plan is basically do my bio homework, study, (if rob comes over) smash a dressing table over the balcony, private lessons, go out, come in, sleep =P then Jesus and planning fit throughout the day all day long ^^
Until I decide to post avery long blog including nothing of use or intelligence again, so long may God be with you =)

.. a bit of a major dilhemma

*very brief, in a bit of a hurry to get started*
Ouch, today was quite a blow.
I'm facing a dilhemma and I honestly do not know what to do.
I'm officially schooless.
Naxxar, the school that accepts everyone, didn't accept me.
So, I'm iether studying on my own for the year and doing my As and hoping to do well because I really am going to push myself, or do first year again as revision and study second year at home and do my As ladida. Point is, I have to get my Alevels in 2009- no doubt!
And even though many many people do sixth form on their own by the end of it, it came as a shock.
So I'm just praying and thinking about what to do with this year and hopefully it will be the right desicion, after all, it's quite a big one..
So if you have any spare time please pray for me, it will be much appreciated =)
In the meantime, God knows what's going to happen and I have to keep praising and not let something this stupid stop me from concentrating and living for Him.
I'm off to go and sort myself out and then start studying I guess.
After all, it can't be that bad, can it?

just another day

Being as i spent so long without posting, I shall make it up to my blog, and myself, with the lamest most odd updates ever- because I missed it =P
So last night I worked for around 3 hours max, then joanna and I had a drink and shared a bowl of chips whilst "watching the game". We sat down and ordered the chips together with a heavenly angel (strawberries, banana, ice etc hehe) for jo and a silky stocking for me (chocolate, tequila, cream bla bla bla). Two very delicious drinks (except I don't like banana so I can't really call the heavenly angel delicious). As they slowly arrived at our table *story mode* darren, the barman, was just staring at us- immediate reaction; something's wrong with our drinks XD
So we figured out what extra ingredient came with both of them.. Whilst mine was a little hidden message "ara tisker cassa" pinned to the garnish, joanna's was somewhat nastier- but I ended up getting the full dose >.<
Tabasco. Not too tasty =P
I mean I was quite reluctant to have the first sip knowing that it would be all bananay and the taste would just stick in my mouth like a horrid medicine, but I never expected that burning sensation XD talk about an unexpected attack haha! So, yeah, that's it really.
It's kinda like when you fall for temptation I guess, it seems so appealing and then wow- in your face. That's what the devil does, he's so charming, so sexy, yet so dangerous. And like in my case, knowing that I wouldn't like it i took a sip anyway. It's like accepting sin even when we know it's wrong, knowing that we will have to face consequences in the end, but not realising just how bad they really will be.
Oh and jumping to a totally different picture, I have to apply at naxxar on wednesday.. not fair!! I enjoyed being schooless for the second summer in a row, I can't believe I'm going to second year and not going back to junior collage is pretty damn weird.. But I get to spend more time with my pumpkin *finally* God I missed being at school with kris. And obviously I get to be at school with ed and pete etc etc etcccc. How grand. So once again I'll be like a little cheerio floating amongst many anothers in a bowl of milk *staring down at my own bowl of milky cheerios* so alone, yet so surrounded. Hopefully I'll find a future destination this year, keep praying- that's the key.
Well if anyone bothered to read this, well done =P
God bless you all ^^
*happy birthday chrissy ahhhh*

"the grass is greener, the toilets are cleaner; this is Soul Survivor"

Hello world!!

Ok so I had a problem with being able to blog before, kinda like a blogging blockage? Not that my pc wasn't letting me, or I had nothing to blog about, but I would be staring at my monitor for ages just wishing I was blogging but I just couldn't. Does is make any sense to any one? Well, as odd as it may sound, it is honest to goodness what really happened =P

So, soul survivor was amazing (as expected). A total renewal all over again, as if my tank was being refilled with the Holy Spirit, wooo totally on fire for God =D I didn't keep my daily diary thing haha and I didn't go to all the talks and I didn't manage to do everything that I planned on doing but wow, from the moment we arrived it was awesome- even the coach ride wasn't too boring =O

On arriving at soul survivor and putting our stuff down and switching tents cos the zips were broken (teehee) I went to do my hour of aloneness running around but ended up giving miguel a guided tour and ended up venturing into the big top and be present for sam parker's sound check *melt!!* ahhh awesome, honestly! God's presence was so intense even with just the band/sound teem (plus mig and I haha) being there, just let myself worship for a couple of minutes and then ran away, oh and in the meantime getting a milkshake and giant milky buttons haha!

The week helped me to (get to know myself better together with people on a different level..) realise things, it was a total wake up call and just snapped me into reality. We met some amazing people, old and new which is really cool =) ahhh and we got to "explore" the place this year being as we were pretty far off from everything haha! I had my supply of things to live on (mecrocaine, islamoos, ventolin, diet coke and milky buttons >.<) so that was pretty cool having a stash in my bag/by my side all the time.

I ended up being totally shattered both emotionally and physically (no voice all week and my asthma was playing up and yeah, I was in pain =P) but in being so realised how beautiful it is. Somethings were hard to face up to and being myself I didn't manage to let go completely until thursday night/friday morning. But even though I was holding back everything was so amazing. Going there and knowing what was instore for me made it exciting in such a different way to last year and being there was just like finally exhaling after holding my breath for mintues, that kind of satisfactory release- that's probably the best way to describe it.

I didn't plan on explaining soul survivor and I'm not going to, but I do want to share something..

Coming back down to malta was hell for me, all over again. Just as going back up was so fulfilling, coming back here was like a dark grey cloud looming overhead. But I experienced something I didn't expect to when I was back here, y4j- in a different light. Not that it was different in any way, but being back into a community that, fine maybe wasn't as ready as the 11,000 people up in soul survivor, but was ready to worship the Lord gave me comfort and the same kind of "spiritual high" that I got in soul survivor, that was all that I needed after a week of being drowned in Jesusness =D

And as ben told me, this is the best part- the evangelising ^^ God's fire burns inside and, don't know abut you guys, but doesn't let me keep it in. The world should know about God and His love. I've been blessed with knowing the Lord, why should I be selfish and keep it to myself? I feel as if I need to run to every corner of the earth to tell of the Grace that has saved my soul, liften my sorrows and healed my pain- guys, He's saved us, don't you just feel like you'll explode if you don't tell the world the Jesus lives (hillsong rule hehe!) ??!

Ahhh it feels so good to be alive in His Spirit!!

Oh and seeing starfield live was incredbile too!! Talk about worship- wooohoo!

I'm still pretty damn confused about my future =\ to be 1000% honest, the only thing I can really see myself doing is evangelising and living to bring Jesus into the lives of so many people, but is that God's plan? I'm not sure, that's for me to eventually find out. Hopefully soon but all I can really do is pray..

So that's my update I'm guessing. I mean I could go on about nearly overdosing and how I could have died multiple times at soul survivor and back here in malta and have been on steroids and antibiotics and nebulisers, sprays, syrups ladida- but no, I'd rather not- I'm alive and that's what matters =D Then there was maxine's lime part which was grand I must admit even though I wasn't aloud to dance/exert myself out of risk of a heart attack but anyways XD and then, reef rythms.. Now that was good =)

Let's just say that it was more of a success than harmonic shake (last year's "concert"- is it?) us, together with cedarhouse and salt performed at the westin dragonara. Anyways, God totally led us through and everything, apparently, turned out amazingly well!!

Ahhhh life is goooood *eternal life is better*

So I think that I shall now go up and sleep because I must say I'm pretty tired after a very boring night at work whilst everyone was out having fun teehee =P

I'm so glad that I've finally blogged, fine, it's not a good blog at all, but since when does a relatively sick mind function at 2:21am after a night at hanks =P ? Once I've blogged now I'll get back into the routine, I know myself =P

Good night and God bless you all (expecially if you bothered to read this, kidding hehe!)

Oh oh, and happy birthday to romina and luisa =D

Soul Survivor, here we come!!

And finally the time is approaching, the moment we've all been waiting for.. Are you ready for this? Well, here it comes- ladies and gentlemen, SOUL SURVIVOR!!!!!!!

Ahhhhhhhhh! I can't believe it, honestly. I mean, we started counting down at 231 days (I think) and now we'll be on the plane in less than 12 hours =D

Finally, I'm going home =) The idea of being back there just makes me smile so so much.

As expected, I'm "ultra mega superly excited for soul survivor *TOMORROW* yeyy!!" (quoted off my facebook haha) but it's a totally different excitment to last year's. I know exactly what I'm going in for, so it's not like the place is going to be new, even though we're at the opposite side of the campsite this year which would be a grand experience, but I know how it helped to strengthen my faith and how amazing it is to just be living with so many people all for the same reason- GOD. I can be myself and there are no judmental looks are passed my way- everyone's free and diversity rules!! The idea of going back to something that I enjoyed so much last year excites me so so much. To be able to marvel in God's presence back in a field/tent in somerset, all soggy and smothered in mud, is different due to the change in (weather lol) environment. All the green and wetness, everything is so lush ^^

Ok I'm tired so my wording isn't too grand so it's going to be boring to read so I might as well just shut up hehe..

I just can't CAN'T wait to be there, praising God's name with all of my heart and soul and just giving my everything, just letting go once again. It's easier to be so free and open over there because it's totally sincere, desperately praying that y4j becomes that selfless one day..

So, I'll be praying for you all and please pray for us =)

I still have to finish packing and go to the chapel and like, sleep =P Which is actually something good because that means that this afternoon after work I finally decided what to take up and to start packing- typical rache x)

See you all when we come back I guess, we'll all "be changed" as soul survivor itself states and share our experiences and encounters with you.

I hoped to be asleep by around 10, but apparently I won't be once it's half eight and I still have things to do but yeah, it's fine! I probably won't but I'd like to sleep by 11 to get a good five hour's sleep before waking up at 4 to 3 hours on a plane and another 3 on a coach to get to royal bath and west showground- shepton mallet =D (it sounds so great hehe!!) ahhhh can't wait!

So nature calls (teehee) and so does millenium chapel hehe so I'm off..

See most of you soon and to the rest:

God bless you all guys, keep praising =) !! xxxx

living at kris =D

Hello world, I'm back at home..
SO these past few days at kris' house rocked! But like seriously, rocked! Ahh it's so great to just live with a group of insane people that you really really reeeeeally love with all of your heart haha. =)
So the party on wednesday was great, I was dead tired though. I managed about an hour sleep before bio private lessons but after the party we didn't sleep iether (I slept for nearly an hour actually until I got woken up with by weird sentence and bloody fart spray XD) so by 4am we were all singing to singstar on ps2 and laughing and all, but all in all we weren't making tooooo much sound, that is until kris and I decided that it would be funny to imitate charlie bartlet (great film, a must see!) and scream out of the balcony at 5:30am just before watching it again for the second time in two nights XD *video on facebook*
Well the neighbours didn't really appreciate our youthfulness and apart from telling us off twice and during the second time treatening to call the police (both times were in broad daylight might I add), they did send the police for us for making noise at 11am.. IN THE MORNING just in case the 'am' is not clear enough =P So yeah, they threatened to take us to court bla bla pretty lame but yeah- a story to tell haha!
We all just spent the day lazing around at kris and then ordered pizza hut and then I went home for a family ikla thing ladidaa. Oh and pete and I made illustrations for our soon to be released book, "how to brush your teeth- for dummies" that can be viewed on karl's facebook haha.
The next morning rob came over just before I was about to shower and run to kai (I always happen to wake up late when I have to go to karla =\ hmm) and after I showered we both walked down to baystreet and back up with his student group and bought groceries and then I went to kai and he went home. Well from her house, after miguel was very impressed with his own heart hehe, kai and I walked to kris and whilst trying to clear up, she managed to break the sink's plumbing XD how psyco is that!?? Fine, then we realised that it wasn't really broken, but on the verge.. but still, kai broke the sink =P
Anyways, the mustard seed was amazing once again. Spent some time with stefan and matt and realised that it was much needed, but I'll post about that later when things clear out. And after that, like around EIGHTEEN of us slept at kris loool! Kai took up slightly more than half the bed even though we were three and kicked me in the face lol which was slightly disturbing at first but then I laughed. I don't think her and I would make a good married couple, it's the second time she's beat me up whislt sharing a bed >_O
And by 6:30am we were back to singstar XD Then people started to leave and arrive again and by lunchtime we left pete and karla at home whilst kris, tine, louis and I went to mc donalds and gochi for lunch. And then we ventured back up to san gwann and I left and now I'm here blogging and about to go up and get ready for work..
So these few days, in a nutshell, have been a total blast!! "haha alcohol... haha have u ever... haha pony... haha neighbours... haha police... haha bein taken to court" <- that's on kris' nic on msn, so so true! I mean, if we all lived a life without God and with a lot of money, we'd all be alcoholics! Or most of us.. Not to mention other things (like karla trying to rape me *coughcough* lool), but yeah, we've realised quite a lot in these past few days.
We're just an amazing happy family that God has blessed each other with, and it rocks =D



My videos: http://www.facebook.com/video/?id=726570832
My photos:http://www.facebook.com/photos.php?id=726570832&ref=pb
Karl's vidoes: http://www.facebook.com/video/?id=519428315
Karl's photos: http://www.facebook.com/photos.php?id=519428315&ref=pb

Those are the ones out so far, now maxine, kai and zoe have their's to put up =D

Hi guys, a quick qucik post. So I spent the night at kris with tine and kris and I didn't sleep a wink so now I'm drained from all energy and we have a party in like 5 hours and I have private lessons in an hour and a half so I'm going to try and run up and get some shut eye quickly =\
So I'll update you afterwards, but yey I'm excited, hope it will be fun =)

back on the rock =)

Hello world =D

I missed you all oh so very very much and even though I've been back here since 2:30am on wednesday morning, the only time I've had at home was spent dismantling and building my wardrobe, sleeping, showering, eating and with people over.. So now I'm finally getting down to blogging whilst amy and vicky are still asleep in the room next door haha.

So, scotland was absolutely amazinggggg! Everything was so green and lush and pure and I could breathe again and the whole place was basically just screaming God's name. Everwhere was just radiating His glory and majesty and ahhhhh much time was spent with me just sitting in that silly blue scenic and just totally awestruck. Fine, I could have killed my family and I did have to stop myself from plotting their end but mainly so that I could live there forever and everrrrrr.. But it that's besides the point =P So I'm back and CAN'T wait to go again =)

*amy's alarm just rang for the second time*

Oh oh and yesterday after watching lord of the rings; the return of the king, my old old old friend zach appeared behind my door!! Kai answered and looked confused and I was just shocked. I knew he was coming to malta but at that point in time he was the last person I expected to see. So that was fun..

Ah and I really wanted to take a picture but my camera was off and we were going at like 50(something)m/h but there was 'CHRIST IS ALIVE' graffitied on a wall in scotland =D !!!!!! See guys, we're taking over the world muahahahahahaaaa.

*and it rang again!!*

And since I've been back I spent a day at achie with first bio intermediate private lessons ever (it's cool starting something after like over a year again) and back at achie to sleep, a day with zoe and ach just travelling from her to mine to zoe's house and then to the y4j worshops and then to the cassar residence =P a day being a carpenter and then going to mustards and seeing everyone fully again *gleeeeee* =D with achie, kai and debbie sleeping here and us staying out till running around swieqi pv area with rob and mig and confusingness lol and theeen a day making sandwiches (for no reason) and watching lotr and going to work and going out and waking up the next day to blog.. Tadaaaaa

Oh and I lost my usb and my camera only excepts that one so I'm cameraless cos I have 3gb of photos minus like 19 or something of scotland, yes, I went a bit camera crazy XD

Once again another pointless blog =P

Mwaaa God bless you all!!!!

hello from scotland =)

Yoo!

I'm at a really cozy guest house in stirling at the moment, king street haha. This is honestly AMAZING!! Talk about beautiful and the weather- beautiful =D

Trying to cut down on taking photos cos of memory space but if worst comes to worst I'll just buy another memory card. Spent the whole day traveling yesterday, from like 9am till 10pm (english time 9pm) in which I managed to sleep for around half an hour and read lots of my bible plus thought and prayed and watched "horbert hears a who" on the plane XD crazy! *but very rache haha*

All I can really say is that I'm loving the scenery, it's so lush and green and beauuuuutiful!

Traveling to aberfoyle by car today (have to get a car first XD) and spending the night in a lodge thing- how grand =D yeyyyyyy foresty photos on the way >.<

I'm off now, there's a small shoe shop right across my window lol so I'm going to check it out haha. 

God bless!!

hello nessy?.. or not =P

Hi guys!
So tomorrow I fly to scotland with my family (oh the joy =P) and will remain enjoying the pretty lush greeness for the following 8 days =D I messaged paul (my ex scottish boss) and yes I must say, I really do miss him and will for like, well, a long time I guess. But no, it's not the end haha!So we're travelling up scotland and my plan is to fill my camera's memory card to the brim and in doing so capture a good shot of the non exsistant lochness monster- wish me luck =P haha yeah right..

I woke up this morning and decided it was about time to see what to take with me and it actually took pretty long =\ I have no clue how some people can plan their wardrobe out for the upcoming week every week. I nearly went insane doing it for just one holiday! But anyway..

Kris and I had to sing/play for mass today- ouch. Morning/no voice and no songs in mind= blehh lool but yeah, Jesus still loves us ^^ and then we went to exiles and well, I left cos I acted like a fool but I couldn't really control myself but I won't get into that and I came home and stared and packed and read and stared whilst everyone is out and I'm here at home laughing with leon on msn.

So that's my current situation. See, I'm not excited for tomorrow, which is really odd once I want to study in scotland. Maybe it's cos we're not visiting aberdeen (university of aberdeen is my goal at the moment) and we're not spending much time in edinbrugh. Don't get me wrong, taking photos of the isle of skye and loch lomod etc will be fun but like, I don't know. I guess I'm to psyced to go back to soul survivor =\ which isn't a bad thing at all, but I wish I was slightly more excited to go to scotland.. I mean, it's scotland!! I've always wanted to go and now it's like another night at home.. what's wrong with me?

Hmm, eight days with my parents and sister.. Excluding the two hours in the maltese airport and one hour in mancester, we're stuck together in a confinded place for three hours on a plane and five hours on a train right after it- that's probably a big input to me not being too estatic =P

Hopefully I'll get into it when I arrive =) viva my ipod and my bible eh ;)

So that's it guys, I'll miss you all loads..

God bless and take care and keep praying =D

Oh and there's the outreach next week too, so pray for them =)

And a big well done to all you Olevelers for doing so so well, I'm so proud of you my chickens. Sure the As did well too =) and first years haha!! Good night!! =)

an update..

Hii!

Ok I'm real tired at the moment so bare with me =P I'm sitting here eating a curly wurly that I found in the fridge and it's brougth back so many memories of being young and being over the moon when I saw one in a shop. Same thing happened at dreggs (soul survivor) when I saw one and bought it without any hesitation whatsoever. The truth is, it isn't even too amazing but it's kinda significant I guess. More like sentimental.. I'm falling asleep..

Talking about falling asleep. I didn't manage to sleep before monday night so I actually started dozing off at the social for a while >.< (Ok I saved this and went to bed cos I actually did just flop onto my keyboard lol) It really was a fun night, slightly weird at a point (lool) but quite funny, so thanks sam =)

Tuesday we went to exiles and laughed about the former night and then walked to gelateria to get alift to sam for band and thennn, we had worship team and when we were done paul and I walked to pembroke together with sean and ivan who stopped in san gwann whilst we ventured into the valley on our own, like two cousins on an outrageous adventure =D haha and paul actually accused me of decieving him =O how offensive cousin =P but we parted ways at the traffic lights near luxol and he went to drea and I went to amy to meet her and paula. Yes yes, 'twas a good night ^^

Next day I woke up at like eightish and was messaging together with dozing off and waking up for about two hours and then I prayed and thought and read and at 12pm, finally, amy awoke from her beauty sleep >.<>

I blowdried bett's hair for her social and in the meanwhile ended up chemically straightening sam's hair (stinking the cassar residance as if we were in world war two) and laughing loads and loads.. And then, I ran to work cos I was late and my mum's car died on her >.<

That's about it guys, God bless!!

a taste of the future ^^

Wow, I havn't blogged in a while hehe..

So last night we crashed bev's house just as we had done two summers ago when her parents were in gozo. I think that this year we were 29 in all. We watched "I am Legend" and whilst I was trying to watch a film that I had really enjoyed watching on a big screen, brooks was busy telling everyone what was about to happen and giving reasons that they would get to know throughout the film- grrrrrrrrr =P

The kitchen was literally like being back in henry j beans kitchen whilst we were cooking pizza after pizza and the rest of the group were all flopped all over bev's living room enjoying the comfort of an ac haha. When the place started to empty out we decided to play uno with an extra rule thanks to sam >.<>

But through all the noise and wii and excess amounts of "that's not my name", at like 2:30am, everyone who wasn't sleeping over left. Bev, achie, tine, maxine, philippa, larissa, lara jo and I remained dancing and singing to chipmunked versions of songs, laughing and having some girl talk XD

I ended up "sleeping" for less than ten minutes and at 6:50am, maxine achie and lara jo decided that it was a good time to cook some pasta with red sauce and feta cheese- AT 6:50AM = *blehhhhh* !!!!

Yes, insane.. But anyways..

Phil left first and then achie and after brushing my teeth in the bide (I don't do french- it's that little ass washing thing near the toilet usually XD), tine and I walked to peter calamatta gardens (lool) and then to uni and then caught a bus to valletta to meet amy (who came an hour late haha) and anyways then tine left and amy and I bussed it down to meet paula and then I went home.

But I just wanted to point out something. Whilst we were chucked on the sofa sam pointed it out that this is what we'll be doing when we're older. Chilling at eachother's houses every other day and staying there till late and probably sleeping over all the time- how great is that?!

Ahhhh I love our group ^^ it's so grand to have good clean fun, just makes me smile *gleeee* =D

Well, I think I shall try and sleep for an hour and decide what to wear for the social tonight >.<

God bless you all and good night.. =)

band meeting

Hello again.
So last night we had a proper band meeting after a long time cos of exams and stuff. And by proper, as in, nearly everyone was there except pete naudi who's abroad and ivan who had work. Well, it was great teehee. I missed it, loads.
Won't say anything that I shouldn't but we really did laugh together and yes, girls do rock (haha bettinaaaaa) !! We took a couple of silly videos so now bett will probably put them up on our myspace or something (http://www.myspace.com/y4jband.com) and then you can all view our insanity when mixed with mega tiredness and lack of diet coke >.< Well, my lack of diet coke =P
So that's about it really. Please pray for us guys =)
Off for buy some diet coke to take to ed's (brooks') house.. haha not much of a suprise now is it ed- you know what you're getting muahahahahaaaaa =P
God bless you alllllllllll...............

another great day =)

Hello world once again =)
Hope you're all doing swell haha. So yesterday was the y4j bbq. It's the fourth one I've been two =D gahhh I feel so old =P
Rob was ment to come to my house at 8am so I quickly showered and got my stuff at 8am and at 9am, when I saw that he hadn't yet arrived, I called him up. Well, he had just arised from his beauty sleep (lol) and Was about to have a shower. So he came at like 10 and he very kindly accompanied to baystreet so that I could find some beachwear haha *x'ma nhobbokx boy =P*
Anyways we were ment to catch the same bus as zoe and bett but we missed their bus whilst rob was buying pizza and I was buying diet coke haha. So we waited another half hour in which I changed on the bus stop (quite funny really, under my skirt and top etc lol) and got a 645 to mellieha. We got to ghadira and searched for them on the bech amidst all the topless old ladies XD and then we gave up and went to rob's boat house, shopping for liquids and back to the boat house. Then amy and vicky came ot find us and I tried to open the door to show them where the house is an din doing so broke my nail very painfully >.<>_O how silly! Well at like 3 rob caught a bus back home cos he had a lesson so we went back to ghadira and stayed on the beach with all the piling up y4jers =) And we laughed and swam and laughed some more haha great day, honestly.
Then some guys had a bbq on the beach near us so, yes, God provided us with music too! yeaaaaaaah! Jesus rocks!! So whilst we were praising with one guitar and many voices, they were banging to 'paceville music'. And, as expected, people gathered around to see a group of like 100 youths gathered, singing Jesusy songs.. Ahhhh life is good. I obviously swallowed a decent amount of sand thanks to sam =P who by the way managed 3 pushups with me laying down on him before I fell off- b'sahhtu t-tifel ehh! Kai and I got to speak for a while which was amusing haha I love that little spoilt one =P Cara wanted to create a disco in the sea haha. Paul got mistaken to be me by his scream >.< (it must be a 'gatt' thing haha!! yey cousins ^^) I think that's about it. It was a great day of good clean fun and I really enjoyed it =) And that's what I've realised- days that are focused on God really do rock! I mean, they end up being amazing without any effort whatsoever!

Oh yeah saturday was real fun too =) I really wanted to go to bjs for the live worship but when I actually got down to walking down I saw them all at amigos and realised that I was too late =( oh well.. We had a real fun time being us four girls, making friends and laughing/joking around with scottish footie players and all, it was a fun fun night =D Maria's a sweetie and all I can say is "feel the rush- ohhhhhhhhh" lool, the girls will understand haha =D !!

And today I spent a day with the guys from work taking the piss at hanks, mc donalds, gajet, andrews bar, arena, the games room and the roof of baystreet.. pretty funny all in all. And now I'm home, bored, blogging and bugging someone muahahaha whilst the group all went to uni to play basket ball. Oh and I realised that Bs are everywhere.. Look at the sentence above- Bored Blogging Bugging Basket Ball- weird!!

Ok I'll shut up now =P

Good night and God bless you all!!

Keep praying ^^

isle of mtv

Hello once again..
So last ight was isle of mtv.. ha. Ok we arrived at like 5 and were right at the fron to run in like a group of losers and it reminded me of soul survivor =D *ahhhh* And the kooks were doing their soundcheck and I was dreaming about us perhaps soundchecking on a big stage like that to thousands of Christians.. But yes, when we did run to the front we didnt exactly get to the front but with everyone pushing we got pretty damn close. Like forth row or something. Mike was hilarious, he brought cherry plums and cards and we all had water and steffy had wet her hair before but yes, we were insane. And then these three guys cam out of nowhere just literally shoving people out of the way and if any of us told them something (including me) they'd have a totally maleducated reply, for example spitting a huge bila at my foot which lucky I managed to dodge.. stupid animalistic losers. But nevermind, pray for them.. Other then loads of sweat and hair and absolutely disgusting people around us, yes we had fun. I mean, what was that lady gaga!? Maaaaa music these days, so disturbing. "I wanna take a ride on the disco stick" YUK!! Anyways, we laughed at the way she expected everyone to love her when like no one knew her songs =\ But anyways..
Then.. ONE REPUBLIC *mellltttttttt*
Wow, that was awesome! It was his birthday and I started 'singing' (more like screaming) happy birthday and then we all did and all the "front people" ended up but he ignored us =P I could literally see the shine in his amazing blue eyes.. wow. Haha it's like I never saw a hot singer live before- NOT!! I mean look at sam parker *mega melt = puddle of rache on floor causing people to slip* ahhhh I just CAN'T wait for soul survivor any longer!! And after melting at one rebublic a fight started (including the camera guy that was filming andrew's face >.<) so mike, chanelle, andrew and I tried to avoid it and went to find most of our group all the way back near the control tower. But some loser started a fight with lanfranco cos he "pushed" his girlfriend. God, what savages! I mean, you're moving against the current and obviously you're going to move people slightly. But nooo miss princess gets her big boyfriend to hit mike =\ luckily the people around us and his girlfriend ended up pulling him back. But I just get why we have to be so bloody aggressive! Anyways, pray for them too =P
We went to burger king and paul met us and then people atrted to come and I went back with cathy danelle and kelly to watch the kooks =D we met the whole group and really laughed =) Then just before n.e.r.d. gerry and vicky got hungry so we went back to burger king. When we returned n.e.r.d. were still playing and I met neil (guy from work, thought he was gerry taking a photo of me from behind so I posed XD and then realised- what a loser =P !) And then we had to walk to msida church to get a lift with gerry's sister haha how hilarious. Gerry got the key stuck in the car booth and anyway vicky and I were praying and it came out and we got home safely ^^
All in all it was a good night I guess, confusing but fun. I only missed enrique when we went to burger king the first time, but I wasn't there for him in the least, so I didn't really mind. Yes that's my isle of mtv update. The photos will be facebooked soon but not for now cos I'm off to blue bar and then back home for a meeting at hanks.
Keep praying for all these people for inner peace guys, they're so tied up in anger =| God bless you all =)

ciao ciao italia.. =(

Uff what a night =\ we lost, we're going home.. ciao ciao italia =(
Oh well, all in all, not a good day at work XD tables booked and confused and stupid italian men not wanting to get up from a table that was booked after they didn't book.. maaa! Anyways, all was sorted out. And after spending half time and another half hour after in the kitchen wiping cutlery I went back out and tried to keep my eyes on one of the 9 tvs and 2 big screens at hanks >.< And well, when penalties were up.. I was not quiet XD I actually was shouting at one of the supervisors and basically telling him to GO AWAY AND GET A LIFE AND LEAVE ME ALONE!!!!!! Yeah, and I wasn't the only one >_O We got to use a foghorn when we scored and saved but some others used it when we lost, and I looked like an emo >.< I seriously plonked myself on the bar and stayed all depressed with javier (the bar man =P) and we both actually considered crying together- which made me laugh haha.
Oh well, life goes on, Jesus still defeated the devil so that's the only real win I need =D
Tine's arrived safely in france by the way, please pray for her, her ears are killing her =| Ahhh what an amazing experience =)
Ok I think that I shall go and have my breakfast, coffee or water lool, cos I don't like eating in the morning. So here's my good bye..
BYE ITALY I STILL LOVE YOU AND YOU'RE STILL CHAMPIONS OF THE WORLD =D GLEEEE *funny, cos this would never effect them XD*

there's nothing better =)

Hello!!
So I'm sitting here, alone at home, in a bikini, eating half a bowl of fruit and fibre and listening to planet shakers really loud XD yeahhhh feels like summer ^^
Ok the alone is due to the fact that my family ran off to a sandy beach early in the morning. Thankfully I slept through the whole confusion but tine (who slept here last night) got to experience my sister and mum panicing and my dad completely oblivious to them and just impressed at how much women can make a big deal out of things XD so they left like 10 mins before I woke up (that was like 9am so they were out pretty damn early) and won't be back till late I guess, but I'll be at work. The bikini part is kind of weird. I don't really know what happened but I had to send a message and I had just put on my bikini and once I'm alone I was like, "no one's here so I'm fine" and remained on the pc XD Half a bowl of fruit and fibre, hmmmm. See for around 3 months a bowl of fruit of fibre was like my source of energy, and when I stock up on a certain something, I get kinda sick of it. But I really felt like cereal and it was either fruit and fibre or weetos (who on earth chooses cereal in this house?!) so I chose the tastier one hehe. And half, because there only was enough for half a bowl >.< So my plan of action is to, eventually, buy my own cereal XD and I'm eating it pretty slowly so it's becoming soggy XD and I'm using a teaspoon cos I used it for coffee earlier on and didn't feel like getting another spoon out *LAZY- most deffinately a symptom of summerness =P* Now, the loud planet shakers is just fun XD I've been listening to them since thursday lool, I remembered how full of goodness their songs are. And just as one of the songs says, "there's nothng better".
There is NOTHING better.
Jesus loves me and He's got me covered and I have my health (most of it haha) and I have my family and friends =D What on earth could be better? Really? I have everything that I need and wooooo this summer is going to ROCK!!
There's so so much to say about the last two days but nothing really important. Let's just say that friday was fun and the y4j meeting last night was amazing!! I mean, I GOT TO WATCH LORD OF THE RINGS AT Y4J lool and when they stopped it (cos it was just a small piece) I shouted out "NO!!" and then everyone laughed and I felt embarrassed XD ahhhh life is good life is good..
Say it, come on- life IS good!
When you're in pain, alone, upset, hurt, angry, happy, sad, joyful, excited, estatic, anything- even just emotionless- say it and mean it.. LIFE IS GOOOOOOOD =D
Oh and the picture is me on friday with nicola's dress, I stole it XD and I like it haha I shall try and purchase one (preferably black but the whiteness is cute haha)
And now I shall love you all and leave one.
And remember, there's nothing better then having Jesus *gleeeeeeeeee* =D

*SUMMER*

Hello world once again =)
Ok so my summer has officially started =D
After school I caught the bus to spain (barakudas in xemxija) and spent an afternoon with a few of my lovelies and really enjoyed it. Oh and LOL amy and I had a green chicken burger >.< GREEEEEEEN!!!! Bleh =P
We took a couple of photos of bett and I. The idea was to get the contrasting blondeness with my black.. Didn't really work out but here's kinda what it looked like:


Oh and I got slightly burned which, funnily enough, I'm happy with. See, usually I run away from the sun or never have the patience to sunbath. But today I wanted to relax so I lay down on my black towel and soaked it all up =) and read my bible haha.
Then bett amy and I caught a 652 (I think) and in just outside mediterraneo we hear a big *pfffffffffffffffff* and the bus driver pulled over and went to check his tyer XD how oh so silly.
Oh and this morning whilst I was walking to the bus stop I realised that I'm being myself again =) and I said *to myself in my head* "I missed me" and suddenly this white peuguot just about RAN ME OVER!! And I was like "ahh!! I'd miss me more if I were dead" and giggled aloud to myself X)
I'm off to meet drea, mike and ivan and all the rest who end up coming down after intercession team and playing basket ball (rob's crazy idea) to watch the match and chill ^^
God bless you all!!
I'm praying gleeeeee

Hello world =)

I'm about to get some shut eye to get some good sleep before my last exam *histroy of art* and then start off my summer =D
So I really don't have much to say.. It was a , well, different weekend (haha what a way to put it >.< silly me) and I've learned a couple of things.
Oh and on friday I got my nails done with my darlings (amy and vicky) for free ^^ so that was great hehe.
I'm clueless and tired cos I spent a whole day doing my art project and my head is spinning from all the paint that I inhaled =P
Good night my fellow aliens, God bless you and talk to you again.. IN SUMMER =D

origami?

Hello world =)
So I'm on the phone with rob at the moment I just told him about my day, and whilst his singing to me haha, I decided to blog =D
Ok so this morning my mum came to wake me up at 7am so then by half seven I'd be at the gym but I told my mum that I couldn't go cos I said that had a headache but in actual fact I had to go to mina but I couldn't think in the morning XD
So I went to mina at like 8:30am and we tried to study but failed and ended up doing origami instead XD for those of you who, like me this morning, don't know what origami is, it is the art of folding paper. Quite hard actually =\ But we've realised that I have a new found talent lool or maybe not but I managed to create most of a swan (obviously with the help of mina) and then mina made a helmet, a boat and a something (forgot what it's called) it's the small cricket thing in mulan >.<
And then we went to michela after quite a funny phonecall with her, it went something like this:
"WHAT ARE YOU DOING AT ROMINA'S HOUSE? she has to study rache!! wait- you have engineering drawing AAAHHHHH!"
Haha, crazy girl =)
So now I'm home and adjusting my brain and have reached a verdict..
Fail: engineering drawing AND physics = do second year at naxxar and change e/d to religion and physics to biology.
Fail: physics = do resit and pass and do second jear at junior collage and change e/d to religion and physics to biology.
Yeah, simple decision but hard to make cos even though we don't do anything and it sucks- I love my school- it's insane and I got used to it.
See, I usually keave my studying for the last week bla bla even though I would try and try to study before but this year I did nothing all year round and I've been really distracted with everything. So, yeah, wasted a year but it's ok; Jesus loves me =)
After tomorrow I have a week to study systems, HOA and do my art project- should be passable.
And back to origami, the few papers we used were all crushed and crimpled cos we tried to make jumping frogs and sea horses and elephants and fish but we didn't manage. But that's how life is. We try and try again but it's just not right, so we move on. And when the next thing doesn't work out it doesn't matter- keep going; stay strong! So I am that little, frail piece of paper and God is making all these origamis out of me until He finds the one that suits me perfectly =D what a genious ^^
God bless you all and keep praying!!
(By the way, the picture is the actual swan we, through pain blood and sweat (lol yeah right), produced XD yeaaah!!! Origami pros in the making woohooo!!)

I'm back =)

Before any of you accuse me for being a liar- I AM SORRY!! (once again) !!
I was going to start blogging once again after my exams, but I need to now. So just to let you all know, I have a physics resit in summer- most deffinatly and in the last month I've changed my mind so many times about what I want to do with my future.. Now I know and I'm sorted and my plans are simple, change engineering drawing to religion and physics (when I pass the resit) to biology and in two years time leave malta to go and study psycology in scotland with rob and sean =) tadaaaa
In the mean time, I'm restarting life.. Renewing my vows, getting my priorities straight, sorting out my room (ouch!!) and start saving up for accomodation at the university (and not for a car).
So, in 63 days I'll be in the first big meeting in soul survivor with my Jesus buddies and all the amazing SS leaders, and ours too hehe =D and this time in 11 days I'll probably be dressing up to go out to celebrate the end of school and studying (until the results come out and I'll have to start bio from scratch and physics for my damn resit.. yes, I'm annoyed about that =P)
Ok at the moment my emotions are really messed up, I'm very upset, but really hiding it, things aren't sinking in well. I'm in one of my screwed up moods (those of you who really know me well know exactly how messed up they really are). I can't study at the moment cos my brain feels like it's going to explode once I've been thinking so much. Ok I'm stalling, I'm not with duncan anymore sooooo.. you know, not in a very good state. Ahhh this is a weird post. I'm not really thinking about what I'm typing and I guess no one will even bother to check my blog once I've lost so much contact (except mina who has magical powers when it comes to blogs ;) haha) so it's going to be kept silent and the next time I post I'll put it up on my nic on msn to reveal to the world that I really am back.
See, all good things come to an end. Stupid vodafone advert once said not to cry because it's over but to smile because it happened, and that's what I'm doing. Listening to some amazing songs to help me get back on track, feeding myself with amazing words to soothe my heart and once again, another patch is being sewn on to it (hence the picture).
I've been broken so many times, and even though a heart break feels the same, it never really does. In a biological similie, a broken heart is like a phylum and each time it get's broken, it's like a different species from that phylum. Probably doesn't make sense, but it does to me. It's like a flower but each one is different though it's still a flower. I'm saying lots of crap. But my point is, God is here, holding me, healing me.
Here's something comforting to anyone who's feeling down at the moment..
"The Lord is close to the broken hearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit" Psalms 34:18
"The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit: a broken and a contrite heart, O God, You will not despise" Psalms 51:17
I think I shall go and try to continue some philosophy now. God bless you all..
"Lord you will protect and comfort this heart" - and that's exactly what He's doing =)
Keep praying!!

SORRY!!

I haven't blogged in almost 4 weeks- I'm ashamed!
Sorry but I've been really caught up at the moment, and for around two weeks my pc wasn't working at all, but nothing justifies my neglective attitude to my blog =\
Ok so the week that my pc stopped working something happened to me on the bus- my "God loves me badge" (the blue one with the white heart) fell off in the bus and I picked it up and nearly burst out crying right there because I was feeling really unloved and it was just a sign from God to remind me that He does love me. It happened again yesterday. I had a bit of a rough morning (even though it was only 7:40 haha) and God just did it again to remind me that He loves me, no matter what =D
I have to go to continue researching stuff for my art project.
Sorry that I broke my pledge =( but as soon as school + exams are over, I'll get back to blogging regulary once again =)
God bless you all and good night! And sorry once again..

roll on stressfullness =P

Hi guys,
Ok so my former post seems to have been pointless cos my 'plans' don't seem to have led me anywhere great but thanks for the prayers anyway =)
Ok so today we received our assessments *no comment* and I have to give my systems project in tomorrow and I'm deffinately far from finishing. Then there is the fact that I start my exams in under 8 weeks and I have studied absolutely NOTHING all year except for a chapter of philosophy in december and a paragraph of insults from king lear (shakespeare) XD .. Basically I've just realised that I have to WAKE UP!! If I fail these exams I'm literally messed up because I want to take a year off after the As and not repeat first year =S
So whilst I'm sitting here, at a computer that's crashing, I'm doing my SOK project and planning to start studying this weekend cos tomorrow I have to do two english essays.. This post is basically me semi-detaching my brain from my project for 5 minutes haha.
In the meantime, God has totally showed His faithfullness, pulled me out of a few sticky spots and indirectly kinda slapped me across the face. No, it's just that He's made it very obvious that I am not living the way I should be, and that it has to change because I'm ment to be living for His glory, and oh what glory He deserves =D
So keep praying for me please, and I'll be doing the same for you guys =) God bless you all!!

Oh and I found this last friday:
"praise the Lord; praise God our savior
for forever He holds us in His arms" psalm 68:14 (I think)

prayer please =S

Hi guys, long time no post- sorry.
I've been doing some serious thinking, the kind that can be categorized as 'life-changing' and I'm really stuck. I'll elaborate later on but all I ask for is your prayers, I'm in desperate need of a miracle at the moment.
Thanks so so much.
God bless you

love, God =)

To My dearest baby,

You’re the precious child that I created. Bought with a price you’re My beloved, open your eyes and I’ll show you how to see what I see. If only you would just believe that you are who you are to Me!!
Love,

God =)

bad day?

Hi guys.
Today's post is going to be slightly more serious then the last few- I'm not in the best of moods. I can't elaborate (especially on a blog) but here's a bit of yesterday that's really annoying me. I want to be a doctor. Now I can't become a doctor because I couldn't even get a 7 in chemistry paper B =| Now that's mega bad (GRAVI!) so I, no way in hell, could ever manage that Alevel and university. So I was waiting inside mater dei, and just wishing that I would be working in that kind of environment in, what, ten years? I don't know why, I really hate going to the doctor when I'm sick and all, but I'd love to be a doctor- especially in a hospital.
Let me give an impression of my emotions at that moment..
"hi dream job.. ..oh, well, bye dream job"
I felt and still do feel really bummed. That's not the only thing that's "depressing" me at the moment, but I'll let it be.
Well, apparently I wasn't the only one having a bad day. After work, I switched on my phone and received a message (well more than one, but this one is the important one). A message to pray for my friend because he/she were having a really shitty day. So I quietly prayed on my own whilst finishing off at hanks. And then, before I slept, I prayed for all the people having a shitty day- because I know what it feels like.
So when you're in the middle of a day that's really getting to you, pray. Pray not only for yourself but also for all the other people having a day just like yours, or maybe worse (or better). It helps to be a little selfless sometimes. Everyone has bad days, it's impossible to not have a bad day once in a while. Think about it, if we never had 'bad days' then we wouldn't be able to really appriciate the good days. We're only human guys, it's normal to feel like crap. I mean, if we never felt bad, then I'd be worried because that's not normal. Sadness and negative feelings are all emotions, they're there to be felt so that we can be able to distinguish between them.
So here it goes guys, once again, my point is PRAY!! Ah we need it so so much. Have faith, things will work out, no matter how bad they get and how horrible you may feel. Anything is possible with God, don't ever forget that.
God bless you guys, keep praying- it works!

part two of "four in one haha.."

four- something new..
Ok this the the post a few of you have been waiting for, some of you have no clue what I'm talking about and as for the others, (especially you- you know who I'm talking about 'mr red-floating-spheres' >_O) be silent =P
Ok as you all know, I'm not single.. and I absolutely suck at it XD So here's the story..
Once apon a time, in a small sunny island called malta, situated in the middle of the mediterranean sea (yes, I want to make this sound pretty =P) a young couple decided to give each other, well err, a special hug and thus, I was born (scared you right there didn't I =P ?) .. Sixteen years and 9 and a half months later, I oh so reluctantly walked into henry j beans in quite a pissed off mood because the last thing that I felt like doing was face painting little kids for three hours on a sunday afternoon when all of my friends were out somewhere enjoying themselves without me. Now not only was I going to embarras myself by having little toddlers drool all over me all afternoon, but I actually had to ask this random guy (whom I now know as allan) if I had anything dropped off for me =| Ok so I started that "life changing" afternoon by blowing up red 'henry j beans' balloons (only making me look even more stupid XD) until vince came and gave me the lilac and fuscia groovy chick bag that held all the face paints.. I think you got it- I didn't like the idea of working that day =P
So I sat down and did what I thought was wasted an hour and a half of my life when allan came up to me and asked if i wanted a job there.. reaction -> yessss =O lol. That is when I felt all eyes on me- BOOM! How embarrassing. I look at this random guy behind the bar and see him speaking to allan and just staring at me. "Oh shit- look down and pretend to be busy." That's what passed through my head at that time. I don't know how realistic it could have possibly looked but yeah, it made me feel better. I later on got to find out that at that precise moment allan had told 'the barman' aka duncan *the boyfriend* that I seem quiet and to basically forget tainting my mind.. teehee opps =P
Well, twelve days later I get a phonecall from hanks asking me to go in the following night- now that was embarrassing. I went to y4j to practise for the mass the next morning and then kinda ran it to hanks, forgetting all the jewelry that's been inpaled into my ears, well, impaled onto me and other stuff. So I stood there near the bar with (as far as I remember correctly) duncan, james and someone else removing all my 11 earings, rings and the rubbish around my neck and wrists. I was honestly so embarrassed it was sickening. Ok day one passed bla bla day two arrived. "Ooooh mr goodlooking barman is here again, what's his name again.. duncan! ah yes- remember that rache" <- my brain speaking to me on the sunday haha. Twelve days after that, I worked on friday night- the place was practically empty. I started the night off by asking duncan where to fill the spray to clean the tables with from.. He showed me and made it a point to wet me too =P At a time, I was being my usual innocent self in the kitchen cleaning cutlary when in comes this duncan guy and starts pissing around with steve (the chef) and drawing on the hats, gets it smothered in bbq sauce and tries to put it on me- nice. Then there was the power wash that's used to wash the dishes.. I got slightly wet, seriously- not much. Well eventually he asked me how I was getting home and I said that I was iether going to walk it or my mum was coming for me and he told me that he'd take me home. I, being the stupid little girl that I am, was all full of butterflies inside (lool what a girl). Well sadly enough my mum was already outside and I had to (once again) embarras myself by rejecting the lift home.
Believe me, the next day all my close 'girlie' friends knew about this duncan guy and he was (without being seen) labeled mr sexy >.< Fine I must admit to saying something like, I don't know, "oh my God guys what the hell I was getting a lift with......." I won't elaborate =P
The friday after the same thing happened. I had found him on hi5 and I felt so hilarious when he called me near him and gave me a piece of paper with his msn address- honestly, I felt like I was caught in some kind of film lol. He asked me to come and see him the following night at hanks and I willingly agreed. I( got the lift home that time haha =P) Just in case any of you are thinking "how cute, she went to see him at work" I didn't, but I wanted to. No one wanted to come with me and I wasn't going to go alone.. duhhh =P So the next day I was just about to walk out of the door to go home from work when I found myself facing him through a glass door, a LOCKED glass door. How great was that, being stuck looking at a guy that I had a crush on (making me feel like I was 12 again) through a glass door after I 'stood him up' the night before *slap across the face*. Well I went to hanks with jean and steve that night to try and make it up to him haha. I will leave out a few of the stupid things that I said but I got his number, well he took my phone and dialed it (slightly obvious don't you think ;) ?)
The day after, I messaged him. Yes, I got fed up waiting for a message so I did it myself =P On tuesday we planned to meet at 4pm to go out as a group of the staff for carnival. What he didn't tell me was that we were ment to meet at 6pm at hanks haha. So those two hours were kinda akward but funny. After going to hanks we went to valletta and he asked if I was single and I said yes and the next thing I know is his arms were around me and we were joking around in the street and when we went back to paceville, at bar native, there was the 'famous kiss'.. cuuuute. The real embarrassing moment was walking out of the place and up the stairs near cube.. He kissed me and guess who was standing right infront of us- allan. You should have seen my face- priceless. Anyways He walked me to where my mum was picking me up (another long story, no time for diversions =P) and that's about it. The next day He came for me at school- LOL! That honestly was funny XD And the friday after that, when I was leaving work to go home, He asked me out. Now you'd think that I would have jumped at him, or maybe just said yes. But no, I had to embarras myself even further. I looked at him and he was like, "you don't want to?" and I was like, "no no it's just er.. I'm a virgin and I want to remain one." I have no clue what I was expecting but all I know is that I went red which is quite weird cos I'm usually quite bold and upfront with my decisions, I guess it was cos I barely knew him. Well he looked releaved (he thought I was going to tell him that I wans't actually single) and told me that he didn't expect anything out of me.
Well that was around 7 weeks and two hours ago haha. All I can really say is that it's been so different to anything before. Who on earth would have thought that I would have all of this just plonked right onto my lap.. a job (a ticket to soul survivor =P) and a boyfriend who I honestly really do trust and care about. I don't seem to sound codependent, not at all- I refuse to be dependent on anything or anyone other than Jesus and my bible, but I just really am glad that I have you (turned to duncan now), you just really make me smile =) (haha don't take this personally guys, you all make me smile my darling chickens) I mean don't get me wrong, I'm not going to say that this is what, the best thing ever and it's picture perfect and some kinda fariytale bla bla blehhh but it's a relationship that can be worked on and it's great just the way it is =D It's healthy (like a nice green amy/rache-made salad not from mc donalds lool), it's honest and it's just fun you know. Ahhh life's good =)
So all I really want to say is thanks for the last 7 weeks of my life, you really make me feel special and you really do mean so much to me =) Oh and I'm sorry for all the times when, you know, I forgot you =P But I never actually DID forget you, you're always on my mind, it's just.. I don't know =S I guess I just get carried away..
I think that I'm too tired to continue now it's 2:30am and I didn't exactly sleep well last night, at all, so I'm seeing all blurry and my eyes are closing on me haha.
Here's what I'm trying to get at, these may just be words, but it's a way in which I can express myself. Yet I don't have any words for this, it's so strange. So all that I can really say is thanks for everything so far, God's really blessed me with you.

Well kids, good night. Sorry it wasn't too nteresting, I think it's my mood. If i was more, wel, awake it may have been slightly more fun to read =P Oh and please say a prayer for the people living in slums tonight, then I see it rain I think of them more than ever.
Blessings =)