"the grass is greener, the toilets are cleaner; this is Soul Survivor"

Hello world!!

Ok so I had a problem with being able to blog before, kinda like a blogging blockage? Not that my pc wasn't letting me, or I had nothing to blog about, but I would be staring at my monitor for ages just wishing I was blogging but I just couldn't. Does is make any sense to any one? Well, as odd as it may sound, it is honest to goodness what really happened =P

So, soul survivor was amazing (as expected). A total renewal all over again, as if my tank was being refilled with the Holy Spirit, wooo totally on fire for God =D I didn't keep my daily diary thing haha and I didn't go to all the talks and I didn't manage to do everything that I planned on doing but wow, from the moment we arrived it was awesome- even the coach ride wasn't too boring =O

On arriving at soul survivor and putting our stuff down and switching tents cos the zips were broken (teehee) I went to do my hour of aloneness running around but ended up giving miguel a guided tour and ended up venturing into the big top and be present for sam parker's sound check *melt!!* ahhh awesome, honestly! God's presence was so intense even with just the band/sound teem (plus mig and I haha) being there, just let myself worship for a couple of minutes and then ran away, oh and in the meantime getting a milkshake and giant milky buttons haha!

The week helped me to (get to know myself better together with people on a different level..) realise things, it was a total wake up call and just snapped me into reality. We met some amazing people, old and new which is really cool =) ahhh and we got to "explore" the place this year being as we were pretty far off from everything haha! I had my supply of things to live on (mecrocaine, islamoos, ventolin, diet coke and milky buttons >.<) so that was pretty cool having a stash in my bag/by my side all the time.

I ended up being totally shattered both emotionally and physically (no voice all week and my asthma was playing up and yeah, I was in pain =P) but in being so realised how beautiful it is. Somethings were hard to face up to and being myself I didn't manage to let go completely until thursday night/friday morning. But even though I was holding back everything was so amazing. Going there and knowing what was instore for me made it exciting in such a different way to last year and being there was just like finally exhaling after holding my breath for mintues, that kind of satisfactory release- that's probably the best way to describe it.

I didn't plan on explaining soul survivor and I'm not going to, but I do want to share something..

Coming back down to malta was hell for me, all over again. Just as going back up was so fulfilling, coming back here was like a dark grey cloud looming overhead. But I experienced something I didn't expect to when I was back here, y4j- in a different light. Not that it was different in any way, but being back into a community that, fine maybe wasn't as ready as the 11,000 people up in soul survivor, but was ready to worship the Lord gave me comfort and the same kind of "spiritual high" that I got in soul survivor, that was all that I needed after a week of being drowned in Jesusness =D

And as ben told me, this is the best part- the evangelising ^^ God's fire burns inside and, don't know abut you guys, but doesn't let me keep it in. The world should know about God and His love. I've been blessed with knowing the Lord, why should I be selfish and keep it to myself? I feel as if I need to run to every corner of the earth to tell of the Grace that has saved my soul, liften my sorrows and healed my pain- guys, He's saved us, don't you just feel like you'll explode if you don't tell the world the Jesus lives (hillsong rule hehe!) ??!

Ahhh it feels so good to be alive in His Spirit!!

Oh and seeing starfield live was incredbile too!! Talk about worship- wooohoo!

I'm still pretty damn confused about my future =\ to be 1000% honest, the only thing I can really see myself doing is evangelising and living to bring Jesus into the lives of so many people, but is that God's plan? I'm not sure, that's for me to eventually find out. Hopefully soon but all I can really do is pray..

So that's my update I'm guessing. I mean I could go on about nearly overdosing and how I could have died multiple times at soul survivor and back here in malta and have been on steroids and antibiotics and nebulisers, sprays, syrups ladida- but no, I'd rather not- I'm alive and that's what matters =D Then there was maxine's lime part which was grand I must admit even though I wasn't aloud to dance/exert myself out of risk of a heart attack but anyways XD and then, reef rythms.. Now that was good =)

Let's just say that it was more of a success than harmonic shake (last year's "concert"- is it?) us, together with cedarhouse and salt performed at the westin dragonara. Anyways, God totally led us through and everything, apparently, turned out amazingly well!!

Ahhhh life is goooood *eternal life is better*

So I think that I shall now go up and sleep because I must say I'm pretty tired after a very boring night at work whilst everyone was out having fun teehee =P

I'm so glad that I've finally blogged, fine, it's not a good blog at all, but since when does a relatively sick mind function at 2:21am after a night at hanks =P ? Once I've blogged now I'll get back into the routine, I know myself =P

Good night and God bless you all (expecially if you bothered to read this, kidding hehe!)

Oh oh, and happy birthday to romina and luisa =D