"the grass is greener, the toilets are cleaner; this is Soul Survivor"

Hello world!!

Ok so I had a problem with being able to blog before, kinda like a blogging blockage? Not that my pc wasn't letting me, or I had nothing to blog about, but I would be staring at my monitor for ages just wishing I was blogging but I just couldn't. Does is make any sense to any one? Well, as odd as it may sound, it is honest to goodness what really happened =P

So, soul survivor was amazing (as expected). A total renewal all over again, as if my tank was being refilled with the Holy Spirit, wooo totally on fire for God =D I didn't keep my daily diary thing haha and I didn't go to all the talks and I didn't manage to do everything that I planned on doing but wow, from the moment we arrived it was awesome- even the coach ride wasn't too boring =O

On arriving at soul survivor and putting our stuff down and switching tents cos the zips were broken (teehee) I went to do my hour of aloneness running around but ended up giving miguel a guided tour and ended up venturing into the big top and be present for sam parker's sound check *melt!!* ahhh awesome, honestly! God's presence was so intense even with just the band/sound teem (plus mig and I haha) being there, just let myself worship for a couple of minutes and then ran away, oh and in the meantime getting a milkshake and giant milky buttons haha!

The week helped me to (get to know myself better together with people on a different level..) realise things, it was a total wake up call and just snapped me into reality. We met some amazing people, old and new which is really cool =) ahhh and we got to "explore" the place this year being as we were pretty far off from everything haha! I had my supply of things to live on (mecrocaine, islamoos, ventolin, diet coke and milky buttons >.<) so that was pretty cool having a stash in my bag/by my side all the time.

I ended up being totally shattered both emotionally and physically (no voice all week and my asthma was playing up and yeah, I was in pain =P) but in being so realised how beautiful it is. Somethings were hard to face up to and being myself I didn't manage to let go completely until thursday night/friday morning. But even though I was holding back everything was so amazing. Going there and knowing what was instore for me made it exciting in such a different way to last year and being there was just like finally exhaling after holding my breath for mintues, that kind of satisfactory release- that's probably the best way to describe it.

I didn't plan on explaining soul survivor and I'm not going to, but I do want to share something..

Coming back down to malta was hell for me, all over again. Just as going back up was so fulfilling, coming back here was like a dark grey cloud looming overhead. But I experienced something I didn't expect to when I was back here, y4j- in a different light. Not that it was different in any way, but being back into a community that, fine maybe wasn't as ready as the 11,000 people up in soul survivor, but was ready to worship the Lord gave me comfort and the same kind of "spiritual high" that I got in soul survivor, that was all that I needed after a week of being drowned in Jesusness =D

And as ben told me, this is the best part- the evangelising ^^ God's fire burns inside and, don't know abut you guys, but doesn't let me keep it in. The world should know about God and His love. I've been blessed with knowing the Lord, why should I be selfish and keep it to myself? I feel as if I need to run to every corner of the earth to tell of the Grace that has saved my soul, liften my sorrows and healed my pain- guys, He's saved us, don't you just feel like you'll explode if you don't tell the world the Jesus lives (hillsong rule hehe!) ??!

Ahhh it feels so good to be alive in His Spirit!!

Oh and seeing starfield live was incredbile too!! Talk about worship- wooohoo!

I'm still pretty damn confused about my future =\ to be 1000% honest, the only thing I can really see myself doing is evangelising and living to bring Jesus into the lives of so many people, but is that God's plan? I'm not sure, that's for me to eventually find out. Hopefully soon but all I can really do is pray..

So that's my update I'm guessing. I mean I could go on about nearly overdosing and how I could have died multiple times at soul survivor and back here in malta and have been on steroids and antibiotics and nebulisers, sprays, syrups ladida- but no, I'd rather not- I'm alive and that's what matters =D Then there was maxine's lime part which was grand I must admit even though I wasn't aloud to dance/exert myself out of risk of a heart attack but anyways XD and then, reef rythms.. Now that was good =)

Let's just say that it was more of a success than harmonic shake (last year's "concert"- is it?) us, together with cedarhouse and salt performed at the westin dragonara. Anyways, God totally led us through and everything, apparently, turned out amazingly well!!

Ahhhh life is goooood *eternal life is better*

So I think that I shall now go up and sleep because I must say I'm pretty tired after a very boring night at work whilst everyone was out having fun teehee =P

I'm so glad that I've finally blogged, fine, it's not a good blog at all, but since when does a relatively sick mind function at 2:21am after a night at hanks =P ? Once I've blogged now I'll get back into the routine, I know myself =P

Good night and God bless you all (expecially if you bothered to read this, kidding hehe!)

Oh oh, and happy birthday to romina and luisa =D

Soul Survivor, here we come!!

And finally the time is approaching, the moment we've all been waiting for.. Are you ready for this? Well, here it comes- ladies and gentlemen, SOUL SURVIVOR!!!!!!!

Ahhhhhhhhh! I can't believe it, honestly. I mean, we started counting down at 231 days (I think) and now we'll be on the plane in less than 12 hours =D

Finally, I'm going home =) The idea of being back there just makes me smile so so much.

As expected, I'm "ultra mega superly excited for soul survivor *TOMORROW* yeyy!!" (quoted off my facebook haha) but it's a totally different excitment to last year's. I know exactly what I'm going in for, so it's not like the place is going to be new, even though we're at the opposite side of the campsite this year which would be a grand experience, but I know how it helped to strengthen my faith and how amazing it is to just be living with so many people all for the same reason- GOD. I can be myself and there are no judmental looks are passed my way- everyone's free and diversity rules!! The idea of going back to something that I enjoyed so much last year excites me so so much. To be able to marvel in God's presence back in a field/tent in somerset, all soggy and smothered in mud, is different due to the change in (weather lol) environment. All the green and wetness, everything is so lush ^^

Ok I'm tired so my wording isn't too grand so it's going to be boring to read so I might as well just shut up hehe..

I just can't CAN'T wait to be there, praising God's name with all of my heart and soul and just giving my everything, just letting go once again. It's easier to be so free and open over there because it's totally sincere, desperately praying that y4j becomes that selfless one day..

So, I'll be praying for you all and please pray for us =)

I still have to finish packing and go to the chapel and like, sleep =P Which is actually something good because that means that this afternoon after work I finally decided what to take up and to start packing- typical rache x)

See you all when we come back I guess, we'll all "be changed" as soul survivor itself states and share our experiences and encounters with you.

I hoped to be asleep by around 10, but apparently I won't be once it's half eight and I still have things to do but yeah, it's fine! I probably won't but I'd like to sleep by 11 to get a good five hour's sleep before waking up at 4 to 3 hours on a plane and another 3 on a coach to get to royal bath and west showground- shepton mallet =D (it sounds so great hehe!!) ahhhh can't wait!

So nature calls (teehee) and so does millenium chapel hehe so I'm off..

See most of you soon and to the rest:

God bless you all guys, keep praising =) !! xxxx

living at kris =D

Hello world, I'm back at home..
SO these past few days at kris' house rocked! But like seriously, rocked! Ahh it's so great to just live with a group of insane people that you really really reeeeeally love with all of your heart haha. =)
So the party on wednesday was great, I was dead tired though. I managed about an hour sleep before bio private lessons but after the party we didn't sleep iether (I slept for nearly an hour actually until I got woken up with by weird sentence and bloody fart spray XD) so by 4am we were all singing to singstar on ps2 and laughing and all, but all in all we weren't making tooooo much sound, that is until kris and I decided that it would be funny to imitate charlie bartlet (great film, a must see!) and scream out of the balcony at 5:30am just before watching it again for the second time in two nights XD *video on facebook*
Well the neighbours didn't really appreciate our youthfulness and apart from telling us off twice and during the second time treatening to call the police (both times were in broad daylight might I add), they did send the police for us for making noise at 11am.. IN THE MORNING just in case the 'am' is not clear enough =P So yeah, they threatened to take us to court bla bla pretty lame but yeah- a story to tell haha!
We all just spent the day lazing around at kris and then ordered pizza hut and then I went home for a family ikla thing ladidaa. Oh and pete and I made illustrations for our soon to be released book, "how to brush your teeth- for dummies" that can be viewed on karl's facebook haha.
The next morning rob came over just before I was about to shower and run to kai (I always happen to wake up late when I have to go to karla =\ hmm) and after I showered we both walked down to baystreet and back up with his student group and bought groceries and then I went to kai and he went home. Well from her house, after miguel was very impressed with his own heart hehe, kai and I walked to kris and whilst trying to clear up, she managed to break the sink's plumbing XD how psyco is that!?? Fine, then we realised that it wasn't really broken, but on the verge.. but still, kai broke the sink =P
Anyways, the mustard seed was amazing once again. Spent some time with stefan and matt and realised that it was much needed, but I'll post about that later when things clear out. And after that, like around EIGHTEEN of us slept at kris loool! Kai took up slightly more than half the bed even though we were three and kicked me in the face lol which was slightly disturbing at first but then I laughed. I don't think her and I would make a good married couple, it's the second time she's beat me up whislt sharing a bed >_O
And by 6:30am we were back to singstar XD Then people started to leave and arrive again and by lunchtime we left pete and karla at home whilst kris, tine, louis and I went to mc donalds and gochi for lunch. And then we ventured back up to san gwann and I left and now I'm here blogging and about to go up and get ready for work..
So these few days, in a nutshell, have been a total blast!! "haha alcohol... haha have u ever... haha pony... haha neighbours... haha police... haha bein taken to court" <- that's on kris' nic on msn, so so true! I mean, if we all lived a life without God and with a lot of money, we'd all be alcoholics! Or most of us.. Not to mention other things (like karla trying to rape me *coughcough* lool), but yeah, we've realised quite a lot in these past few days.
We're just an amazing happy family that God has blessed each other with, and it rocks =D



My videos: http://www.facebook.com/video/?id=726570832
My photos:http://www.facebook.com/photos.php?id=726570832&ref=pb
Karl's vidoes: http://www.facebook.com/video/?id=519428315
Karl's photos: http://www.facebook.com/photos.php?id=519428315&ref=pb

Those are the ones out so far, now maxine, kai and zoe have their's to put up =D