Ok guys, I haven't blogged in ages and for good reason. I've really been feeling down lately so anything that I would right would have been depressing so I just didn't bother. All I'm going to say is that on friday I heard bettina's song (everyday) for the first time and it really hit me but obviosuly being me, I didn't let it show. On saturday I spent nearly 20 minutes trying to force myself to cry to let things out and when bettina started to play it I expected myself to explode but all that happened was four small tears escaped me towards the end of the song. It's a real powerful song and it's just everything that I tell God and been put into such a beautiful song.

"I will praise You with my tears; with my hurts; with my cries.
And I will love You, lift You higher; when I laugh; when I smile.
I'll worship You everyday."

There is also one more thing. Rob's had this on his nick on msn all week and on saturday it finally hit me:

"Jesus wept." [john 11:35]

He went up on stage and said that Jesus cries with us when we're going through bad times and honestly I could imagine Jesus holding me in His arms and whilst moving my hair out of my face, just crying with me. I kinda felt worse after that cos I still couldn't get myself to cry anymore but at least I knew that Jesus was crying for me.
I don't mean to sound selfish but if you have any spare time please pray for me, I just can't seems to let go of this patch no matter how hard I pray and try.
I'm just trying really hard to live normally and to go on as if everything is ok but sometimes I fall. I guess it's cos I'm human. Oh well, the only thing to do is pray so that's all I'm really holding on to. Hope I didn't depress you, I tried to be as subtle as possible.
God bless you all.

uff!

Hi guys, my blog has being messing around since friday night so I haven't posted anything in hope of it working or alowing me to fix it =( oh well, it's screwing up and there's nothing that I can do apparently =P It really is quite annoying and once I'm already suffering from future nostalgia, it's only making my mood worse..
Soo, just to let you guys know, rob's concert was once again INCREDIBLE! (even though we missed like 6-7 songs cos we ran to mc donalds to get everyone food haha). Haha he played 'what a day' and 'h2o' over again when the the song list had finished. I kinda think that he sang h2o again because he wanted to see the y4j guys get even more into it once we know it oh so well (if that was the case rob, it worked). And what a day is the 'theme song' and I must say- it kicks ass =D
And as all good things comes to pass, so does having rob and xixa back =( Xixa left on saturday at 7am and rob leaves this saturday (I think). It was great seeing xixa after 6 weeks or so and I know that she'll be back in a few more to come, but it's not the same. I don't really know how to explain =/ Well, she danced incredibly on both the launches so atleast we saw her do something that she's so amazingly good at last. I mean, that is the reason that she's abroad after all and we all know that she's doing incredibly well and we're all so so proud of her- well I certainly am!
And rob, I've just become so used to him being around, laughing and joking with us and best of all; praying with us and for us. I swear that guy is a gigantic inspiration! He's the kinda guy who'd make you smile even when you're crying your heart out. An amazing guy with an awesome voice and he uses his talents to priase God, and he's becoming a priest. incredible!
The truth is, I'm really going to miss them (and I'm already missing xixa!) And as I'm writing this, my eyes are filling up with tears; I feel so weak. I hope that I don't sound codependent or like a total soppy freak but they really do mean so much to me. Oh well, we'll all live..
Well, all I can say is goodbye for now guys, it won't be forever =) I'm going to miss you too much but it's for a good cause I hehe. Keep praising, and praying, hold nothing back and just shine for Jesus! I love you both =)

what a day!

Ok, I'm so so soooo sorry that I havn't posted in ages and achie's been telling me off and I have a few mintues of doing nothing at the moment so I'm just going to post osmething tiny and (hopefully) when I come home I'll continue. I'm just about to leave for robert galea's launch of 'what a day'. It's the second night and once I'm ushering, I have to be there at around 7. Yesterday rob, tine, pete, ben and I went at 2 and tine and I stayed on till after the concert- ahhhh! All I'm going to say is well done once again to rob, it's an amazing piece of work =) [you make me so proud =') *<- wipes tear* haha] He's a really big inspiration to us all (being inspired by God Himself =P) and his album really helps to pray with and to listen to just for kicks (it really is that good!) This guy is just living for God's glory and I find that incredible!
Ok, I'm off! God bless you all and don't forget- buy his CD and as well as keeping one for your room and your future car, give them as gifts all through out this year =P