Ok guys, I haven't blogged in ages and for good reason. I've really been feeling down lately so anything that I would right would have been depressing so I just didn't bother. All I'm going to say is that on friday I heard bettina's song (everyday) for the first time and it really hit me but obviosuly being me, I didn't let it show. On saturday I spent nearly 20 minutes trying to force myself to cry to let things out and when bettina started to play it I expected myself to explode but all that happened was four small tears escaped me towards the end of the song. It's a real powerful song and it's just everything that I tell God and been put into such a beautiful song.

"I will praise You with my tears; with my hurts; with my cries.
And I will love You, lift You higher; when I laugh; when I smile.
I'll worship You everyday."

There is also one more thing. Rob's had this on his nick on msn all week and on saturday it finally hit me:

"Jesus wept." [john 11:35]

He went up on stage and said that Jesus cries with us when we're going through bad times and honestly I could imagine Jesus holding me in His arms and whilst moving my hair out of my face, just crying with me. I kinda felt worse after that cos I still couldn't get myself to cry anymore but at least I knew that Jesus was crying for me.
I don't mean to sound selfish but if you have any spare time please pray for me, I just can't seems to let go of this patch no matter how hard I pray and try.
I'm just trying really hard to live normally and to go on as if everything is ok but sometimes I fall. I guess it's cos I'm human. Oh well, the only thing to do is pray so that's all I'm really holding on to. Hope I didn't depress you, I tried to be as subtle as possible.
God bless you all.

uff!

Hi guys, my blog has being messing around since friday night so I haven't posted anything in hope of it working or alowing me to fix it =( oh well, it's screwing up and there's nothing that I can do apparently =P It really is quite annoying and once I'm already suffering from future nostalgia, it's only making my mood worse..
Soo, just to let you guys know, rob's concert was once again INCREDIBLE! (even though we missed like 6-7 songs cos we ran to mc donalds to get everyone food haha). Haha he played 'what a day' and 'h2o' over again when the the song list had finished. I kinda think that he sang h2o again because he wanted to see the y4j guys get even more into it once we know it oh so well (if that was the case rob, it worked). And what a day is the 'theme song' and I must say- it kicks ass =D
And as all good things comes to pass, so does having rob and xixa back =( Xixa left on saturday at 7am and rob leaves this saturday (I think). It was great seeing xixa after 6 weeks or so and I know that she'll be back in a few more to come, but it's not the same. I don't really know how to explain =/ Well, she danced incredibly on both the launches so atleast we saw her do something that she's so amazingly good at last. I mean, that is the reason that she's abroad after all and we all know that she's doing incredibly well and we're all so so proud of her- well I certainly am!
And rob, I've just become so used to him being around, laughing and joking with us and best of all; praying with us and for us. I swear that guy is a gigantic inspiration! He's the kinda guy who'd make you smile even when you're crying your heart out. An amazing guy with an awesome voice and he uses his talents to priase God, and he's becoming a priest. incredible!
The truth is, I'm really going to miss them (and I'm already missing xixa!) And as I'm writing this, my eyes are filling up with tears; I feel so weak. I hope that I don't sound codependent or like a total soppy freak but they really do mean so much to me. Oh well, we'll all live..
Well, all I can say is goodbye for now guys, it won't be forever =) I'm going to miss you too much but it's for a good cause I hehe. Keep praising, and praying, hold nothing back and just shine for Jesus! I love you both =)

what a day!

Ok, I'm so so soooo sorry that I havn't posted in ages and achie's been telling me off and I have a few mintues of doing nothing at the moment so I'm just going to post osmething tiny and (hopefully) when I come home I'll continue. I'm just about to leave for robert galea's launch of 'what a day'. It's the second night and once I'm ushering, I have to be there at around 7. Yesterday rob, tine, pete, ben and I went at 2 and tine and I stayed on till after the concert- ahhhh! All I'm going to say is well done once again to rob, it's an amazing piece of work =) [you make me so proud =') *<- wipes tear* haha] He's a really big inspiration to us all (being inspired by God Himself =P) and his album really helps to pray with and to listen to just for kicks (it really is that good!) This guy is just living for God's glory and I find that incredible!
Ok, I'm off! God bless you all and don't forget- buy his CD and as well as keeping one for your room and your future car, give them as gifts all through out this year =P

Christmas eve =)

Hey guys. Ok so yesterday was great. We had a really great time at angie's party hehe so that was fun. Luckily tara (amy's sister) gave rob and i a lift home so we didn't walk it back.

Today was pretty ok. Stayed home and watched stardust (adorable film- really worth watching =D) visited my great grandmother and went home to shower, change and go to mass. The mass was really fun and bett, philly and i had the time of our lives giving out those soap bubbles teehee. We all danced around and had a really good laugh. At around half ten the coach came for us and took us back to luxol so then we quickly caught a bus down to paceville once it was only 25c and stopped just infront of us (haha lazy people) We went to paceville and stayed in olde keg for a while (I stayed burning a straw- what a loser =P).

After that, we went to alpacino for food and rob, brooks, sam and I walked up to rob's house so that brooks' mum could pick both him and sam up. Bob and I walked to my house and bob was pretending to be santa- weirdo =P I gave him his beanbag spotted person thing and we've seemed to have named it 'ball' =P
Rob left here at like 1am and now it's 1:28am so I think that I'll go up to bed once my sister will probably wake me up at some odd time like 6am =/
Good night world, God bless you all and oh, happy Christmas =)

the past week..

Ouch, it's been ten days; sorry =/
I wrote down a really long post on tuesday but I went upstairs to get something and in the mean time my dad switched the computer off- depressing. Ok here's the description of the last week:

Saturday: Woke up at like 8 to meet ilaria to go to school to set up stands for youngenterprise but ms elaine forgot about us and we ended up going to sliema instead. We looked around and me tthe guys in mc donalds. After we went home I realxed a bit (lazed around teehee =P) and eventually showered, changed, and went to the parent mass. It was a really great mass. Fine, Dun Gorg spoke about the same things for the last three consecutive parent masses but atleast the message actually stuck in (especially after not being into Christmas in general this year). It was about how Christ has been totally removed from Christmas and all and how we need to keep the fire burning etc. Then we went to paceville, ivan gave me my first 'of aged' hug and matt bought me my first legal drink =P (vodka lime mmmm) uwija by 1am, tine and I were home. I found a really beautiful ring on my bed from my mum when I got home ('tis lovely) We stayed up till like 2am but kinda regretted it when we woke up nackered =P
Sunday (my birthday =P) : Woke up tired haha, showered and walked to luxol with illy to watch glenn's game. That was a laugh XD Even though sliema won (much to our disgust once their attitudes were appaling) they're still like 5th in the league and st. andrews (luxol) are 1st =D so after all, it's still ok. Angie and glenn left after the game but illy and i stayed back laughing and talking and eentually walked to her house so that she could change and pick up andrew (her brother). We met vicky on the bus and when we finally arrived at TGI fridays, we waited for the 40 people my mum booked for (even though i told her 50 =/) Well, we ended up reaching around 60 and adding tables but it was so worth it! I got some really cute presents which was so awkward because I honestly didn't expect anything. After getting stuffed on like half my meal haha they embarrased me so so much. I was sitting near drew and suddenly 'happy birthday' music came on, so i tried to slip under the table so that when the song finishes I could reappear as if nothing happened. In the meantime, ivan was throwing sugar at me, drew was pulling me from underneath the table and rob was telling me to come out cos he loves me XD well it was some amazing chocolate fontanella cake but still it was the most embarrasing thing EVER!! Eventually i got home, changed and walked to luxol with tine. well, we won our footie game *glee* even though zoe and I are complete hopeless cases XD bettina was amazing though =D all in all, my birthday rocked! (oh and quite a few times i forgot that it was my birthday *loser*)

Monday: My alarm didn't ring and my mum left me sleep which was great. i think that's it haha.

Tuesday: School was fun hehe but I ended up in such pain. My tongue ended up covered in blisters and ulcers and all I could do was sleep to numb the pain =S well that's really it; not too much of a day hehe.

Wednesday: Didn't go to school again hehe. Went to hospital in the afternoon to see about my ulcers and now I have a gastroscopy on the 28th so please pray for me =) oh and just in case you don't know what a gastroscopy is; they're shoving a camera down my throat and into my stomach to see what's wrong with me =P

Thursday: School was the same I guess. didn't do anything special afterwards..

Friday: Friday was goooood =P I stayed waking up early for ONE lesson once school finished at 10am and she had the cheek not to come- how dare she =P I spent the morning with jean, steve, karl, matt, tyron and sam meeting gruppetta, ben, ivan and sam but by the afternoon we just ended up jean, steve, nikki and I. Jean and I bussed it to baystreet and bought vicky's birthday present from me (pink bellyring) and nikki's Christmas present from him (not mentioning haha). Then I went home and changed, packed my bag and went to vicky. I got there at like half seven and amy vicky and I stayed watching bratz XD what losers we are haha. We even named ourselves after them >.< up ="P" change ="S)

Saturday: Woke up and had a deep discussion with the girls and then ate bread and cheesecakes for breakfast XD Ilaria's dad picked herself, nikki and I up to take us to a dance rehersal. Then I went home and met bob and amy to go shopping. We met brooks and glenn which was pretty funny. At around half 4 bettina and phillippa came together with drea. we went on our traditional 'bubble shopping spree' and spent lm4 each on 98 of our soap bubbles from M&S =D *beautiful* we met achie, beppe, svetlana, louis, leon and I think a few more people and went shopping for bett and phil. Philly lost her wallet and luckily some kind person actually gave it into the cashier at zara *miracle from God* ! We missed the last bus so luckily stefan came for us and took us to their house. We watched mean girls (quite a girlie film weekend ux =P ?) and then drea gave me a lift home. I walked down to paceville for around an hour and then went home. by 2am I slept- I think =P Today is now sunday so i'll post about everything later on, till then- adios and God bless you =) !!

an eventful day..

Hello.
Ok so this morning, tammy (ilaria's cat) woke vicky and I up at like 7:15 and then we relaxed in bed (the floor =P) around for around 45minutes and then vicky changed and I straightened her hair and then she fell over in slow motion XD After she left illy and I lazed around till like half 9, went downstairs and cut the business cards and wrote our scripts for this evening. After that, we went back up, showered and changed and eventually met up with bob to walk down to hard rock. I ate a really good chicken burger and chips *mmmm* After I went home, showered, changed, bob blowdried his hair, all in the process of a really foul mood, I suddenly felt really sick- but like REALLY sick. When we arrived at LAL for the launch, everything that I could see was all fuzzy. I was given points to read so I couldn't read my own pretty words =P Uwija, at least the launch was quite a success despite all the confusion and hassels. We managed to sell our product too =) (just to let you guys know, i typed all the above out before but closed the page by mistake- haha see, I stayed trying to remember and rewriting eveything) After the launch we went to timesquare for a couple of drinks as outyoungenterprise team together with a couple more people who were involved.
All in all it was a pretty hectic day, and I'm still feeling all blehh but I've got better. God bless you and good night

BMAs at illy

Ok sorry that I didn't post yesterday, I was really busy and tired and I slept at like 10pm XD I'm at ilaria with vicky at the moment watching the BMAs. Ok so the plan is that we sleep over at illy's house and her and I will sleep in whilst vicky leaves at like 8am to go to accounts private lessons *loser* haha poor girl. When we finally wake up, we'll relax and laze around and eventually shower. Then we'll walk down to Hard Rock for her birthday lunch thing.
Ok great news- salt won a BMA (fyi salt is the best Christian band in malta)!! Oh and along with Salt thanking God for their success, so did wintermoods and j joy.. Know what that means- the world is finally changing =D Yey, Jesus can be found in every space and corner *glee* He's contagious!!
I'm kinda tired but not, it's a really weird feeling =/ I still have to write Glenn's script for tomorrow's launch = And if i don't find mine, I'll have to rewrite that too. I think I'm going to go and take more funny photos and pay attention to the BMAs hehe.
Good night and God bless you all =)

I'm back

Hi guys.
Havn't posted in TOO long! I've been really caught up in everything- school, youngenterprise, friends, family; everything!! I'm going to try and start posting every other day or so, just to keep record on my life and eveything so that I can look back and see changes (good and bad I guess).
School's great at the moment, everything is falling into place and I actually started studying (for like an hour in all but uwija =P). So far we've had three physics tests (fail/pass/NA) and a philosophy one which I aced =D English is really fun, I've done really well compared to my class and art is ok. It's just graphic communication/engineering drawing that's got me totally baffled (oh, and systems of knowledge but that doesn't count =P).
Hmm what else? Oh 'birthday spree' is just about to start haha. Here comes the everlasting list:

14th- ilaria's birthday
16th- me =P
22nd- vicky
23rd- angie
25th- Jesus =D
26th- steve, stefan
27th- my grandfather (80- wow!!)
29th- matthew

I think that's it. Pretty long huh? Oh and there's Christmas on Jesus' too =P So I can tell you from now, I'm officially BANKRUPT!! Oh and not to mention the up coming occasions:

13th- vertebrae (our youngenterprise company) launch, ilaria's birthday lunch
15th- traditional bubble shopping with bett and phil, parent's mass
16th- my birthday lunch, y4j footie match
21st- vicky's birthday dinner
22nd- vicky's hilarious horse riding thing
23rd- angie's party
24th- y4j mass, 'breakfast'
31st- new years eve

Three jam packed weeks!! haha I promise to post after every occasion- promise =P So in these last two months LOADS fo things happened and if I was to start mentioning, I'd never stop; so I'm not going to haha. I just really want to say it's hard living the life of a teenage girl but hey, I've got Jesus and I know that He's a BIG plus!! Not saying that life is easier, believe me- it's probably harder- but it's gives you that sense of reassurance. Not too sure if I'm making much sense all I know is that I am to me.
That's it I guess, God bless you all and thanks for the patience (even though a few of you bugged me to blog quite a few times =P haha love you guys)
~ to be continued (tomorrow) ~

school day one =P

First day of school. Hmm what can I say? Weird! Ok, so I nearly missed my graphic communication/engineering drawing lessons cos I wrote down room 139 instead of 159 which inconviently does not exsist XD Oh and I couldn't find 420B because there wasn't a sign on the door >.< Uwija, I got to them in the end. Luckily my last art lesson was switched to wednesday so I have five lessons after eachother and not six. The lessons were cool I guess even though I fell asleep in art XD That was a funny experience, thank God the teacher was ok with it once he was old and stuff and just laughed at me when I said sorry =P That's really it hehe, now we'll see about tomorrow though I'm not worried cos the day's great (art, free, systems, philosophy, home)
Good night and God bless =)

first few days of a whole new world

It's nearly 9 at the moment and I soon have to go upstairs to shower and get all my stuff ready and continue reading harry potter once again =P Tomorrow we start school; officially. I've been in on monday, tuesday and today but the real stuff starts tomorrow. Till now, all we've done is get our timetables sorted, go shopping (stationary and clothes funnily enough =P), pirce my eleventh hole (XD) and laugh at evething possible. My time table's pretty good apart from thursdays! God, thursdays suck so much. I start with phyiscs and english, then a free, followed by engineering drawing/draphic communication, english, double art, philosphy and art again.. EIGHT HOURS OF LESSONS AND ONE HOUR FREE!! ouch =( Oh well, at least it's the only messed up day hehe. I kinda hope that I'd know a person in every lesson but i really want to pay attention so I'm better off on my own. I know that I have matthew in 3 of my english classes and glenn is with me for systems so hopefully we won't get all distracted but help eachother instead.. hopefully =P

Anways I'm getting slightly excited for the big dig on friday hehe. Just yesterday we finished the gifts =D I'm sure it's going to be great cos I'm really being attacked at the moment =/ Now I'll post all that on friday at like 1pm when I come in from school before I leave to go and set up. Take care and I'll post again tomorrow about how the first worse school day I'll have everyweek for the next two years was hehe. God bless!