vans =D

Ahhhhh my vans have finally arrived guys.. And they're awesome!! lool and above is their mini photoshoot, cos I'm a loser ^
Gleeee sorry just really happy haha.
For those of you who don't know the story, when I went to scotland in july, I absolutely fell in love with a pair of shoes and once I'm poor (lol at that time I wasn't, I was just told that we weren't going to shop *lies- we did 2 hours XD* so I didn't take any money up with me) and my mum didn't want to lend me any money.. Well, I didn't get them *boohoo*
Now i finally managed to order them off ebay and tadaaaaaaaa they've arrived =D
BEAUTIFUL!!
Ahh I'm very happy lool!
So good night to you all and I'll see most of you tomorrow at school and don't forget to look at my sexy new shoes =D .. They deserve to be worshiped >.< loooool no I'm joking, only God deserves that kinda glory =P
good night God bless ^^



YEYYYY SHOESSSSSSSSSSSSSS =D =D =D =D

Hey guys,
I was just throwing out all my old, useless batches of file paper from my previous attempt at first year =P
Well, I found a couple of cool doodles/drawings/poems/prayers/paragraphs/stuff lol but I just want to share this..

Brokeness is chasing loneliness that's drowned by emptyness, but by Your gracefulness I'm lifted from this mess.
I'll soon be free- I know I will and then they'll see how my worthlessness is worthy of the love You're giving me.

I don't know why, but I really felt that I should post it. I'm not feeling lonely, not at all. But I just watched 23 minutes in hell and even though it really has nothing to do with it, but I feel we really need to pray for the people who don't believe in Jesus and even more- for the christians that don't believe in hell. It's so real and it's here. And maybe it effects me more than some people because of something that I've read and I know how real demons are. Don't get me wrong, I'm not more 'educated' or aware of the situation we're in, but I just am so terrified after having found out a couple of things.
We've already won guys, victory is ours. But as in every battle, people die.
Soooo, just keep praying because God's glory will shine over the earth as promised and we're so blessed to have been saved =D
God bless ^^

happy birthday ^^

Hello humans!!

Sorry for neglecting my blog even more than ever really. But before you call me lazy, the internet hasn't been working in my room and wasn't letting me sign in downstairs =\ so anyways, now I've managed and what a perfect day to blog- my third year of being a 'real Christian'.. graaaand =D !!

So school's great and life's great and the y4j live-in was great *fourth one i've been to, my I'm growing old*. And just to mention, I didn't end up sleeping at the westin (my mum didn't let me in the end) I've missed absolutely NO lessons and gleeee I'm loving the new art teacher and he loves me too lool so it's graaaaand because I don't even have to suck up! niiiice!!

Ok since I last blogged I've moved and restarted school, changed my relationship status and have officially been a properly devoted Christian for three years- how awesome is that?!!

Junior college is the best place in the world and really, I'm loving my new class groups even though I miss my old ones. Though it's really funny, I'm with my old art class for hoa (history of art) so the old witch thinks I'm a second year, that is until she teaches me in 6 weeks and realises that I've repeated XD I have pretty great teachers, I just really miss mr philosophy loads though my new teacher is damn good so things are really working my way. I still have vanni pule' teaching me and this year it's shakespeare so he can be all dramatic without any excuses which will be funny. And luckily it's the ONLY 8am lesson I have so if i arrive late he'll understand- because he loves me ^^
My time table is pretty good, still stuck with a crappy thursday though >.< lesson =" But">

So I'm in a really good mood (despite being absolutely knackered after a very loooong day of school consisting of english *fourth floor*, double art *basement*, religion *third floor*, art *basement*, english *third floor* - a free *bluebar/dukes/bluebar* - biology *elevated*) and I'm just exploding with Jesusness at the moment ^^

It's just that these three years have been the most amazing adventure of my life! Following Christ has made me who I am and I'm proud of my old self, everything that I've done adds to my testimony and now that I have God and my relationship with Him is growing daily, it's developing and I have so much to say I may just never stop!! It's so grand to just wake up and live in Jesus, it's just so- awesome really! Ahhhhh God is good guys, He really is =) So happy birthday to my faith haha, it's something I'll NEVER look back at- no regrets =D He's just built me and defined me and there's no one else who I can ever be so open with, who will ever let me be so alive and who I'll ever trust so much. I've truely found MY best friend =D

So I think I may go because the mother made coleslaw and I'm quite the fan =P

So a big thanks to all of you who have helped me on my journey to reaching this stage in my life- you're the bestest!!

God bless you all, see most of you tomorrow at school/out =D

I love you all, BUT JESUS LOVES YOU MOREEEEE!!!!!!!!!!

a whole new world..

Hello world,
I am officially blogging from my room and not from the crappy slow stone aged laptop that I tend to steel from my dad =D finally, internet connection in up in my room thanks to rob *love you!!* and I can finally say that I don't have to leave my room unless I need to shower and release myself from any unwanted body material =P oh and I guess eat, but that's not really important XD
Ahhh it's going to be so much better now, I won't be falling asleep near the pc so often out of sheer lazyness when it comes to going upstairs to my room- I can just swivel my chair right over to my bed and plonk =D and I'm chucking my crappy stereo downstairs cos now I'll never use it once I have all I need in this horrible 'box of technology' that I happen to love oh so very much =) I have to buy speakers now. My mum got me a set but like, I want to get better ones so I'm going to change them.. thinking of a surround sound by creative or something..
So that's part of my "whole new world", being computerful in my room- glee =D
So tomorrow we're being "spoilt showoffs" (quoted from my mum) and spending the night at the westin XD all I know is that zoe, kris and I are going to be there, I have no clue who else (apart from zoe's elder sister) is coming but yeyyyyy we're going to have such a blast!! We're checking in at half 2 (kris and I are meeting at 1 to see if we can buy her a nice top from baystreet or something lol) and spending the afternoon chilling/swimming/being lazy lol. Then we'll get ready and have a *hopefully* kickass night out, and then head "home" and sleep in one sexy room all together like princesses lool! And wake up for breakfast and then chillax all day by the pool or something XD megaly excited..
So that's the other part hehe. Sometimes I wish that we were all rich and living in a high class society where we have to dress up daily and make an appearance ladida, but really, I'd die by the end of it >.< (I just continued this and when to arrnage it and it all got deleted.. wth!!!!!!!) though seriosuly, I'm fine the way I am. Fine, a little bit *ok maybe a lottle bit more lol* cash would help but I have all I need- my friends, my health *kinda*, my education, my family but most of all- I have Jesus =D and I'm sorry guys, but nothing and no one will EVER take His place.. amen =)
Now I have no clue what else I typed before it all got deleted bloody hell but I guess it couldn't have been thaaaat important if I don't exactly remember it XD I know that I mentioned that I need to see what to take with me and mentioned things like tops, skirt, trousers, bikini *blehh*, towel, undies, shoes, junk food lol. I have my outfit for tomorrow night sorted, I hope hehe, but to go and come and stuff, well, as usual- I'm clueless, and proud hehe.. So that's my addition to a whole new world (living like gossip girl for a day wooooo)
I think I'm dragging on for nothing..
God bless you loads guys, good night
.. off to plonk onto my bed =D .. yeaaah!!

the past two weeks..

Hello world =)
So I haven't posted in a while for my internet wasn't working well over the week when my parents very lovingly abandoned me to a week of fun so I couldn't blog and when it finally started to work again I was caught up with things like work (blehh) and y4j and sleep and going out.. and lazing about- fine!!
So as a responsive update to the former major dilhemma thing, I didn't really have a choice in the matter cos my mum wouldn't let me do otherwise but I see that it is the bestest option possible- behold the master plan..
first year at naxxar as revision and in that way finishing school latest at 3:10 so that I can go home and study. It seems mad, but it really isn't too bad. And this is why..
English A - private lessons, done a year of being half aware and now have another one + study a lot with kris and kat
Art A - I promise to start painting/drawing (had a work meeting and stayed drawing on the paper and got funny yet impressed looks lool) and will actually pay attention and study history
Philosophy I - history and ethics are done, logic and ethics and done at first year in naxxar so I'm covered and I love philosophy
Biology I - private lessons, kris is tutoring me *lol* and school and lots of studying
Relgion I - good notes, bible, study
Soo, that's my plan.
Now if I don't get my As and intermediates this year, I'll do second year next year. Atleast I'll be giving them a try hehe.
So that was school..
In the meantime that week of being an orphan was awesome we had a real great time.. somehow a chair broke and the neighbours complained about the noise but I peronsally think that the funniest was on saturday morning when kris got stuck in my bathroom and had to climb through the window leading to the shaft and then leading to the study- how psyco! We also had a roach attack but that's besides the point haha. Oh and a water/soap/expired beer fight in my garden which all started with gruppetta bringing it all apon himself whilst butting into a conversation between pete and I whilst I was trying to get him not to wet them- it was grand =P so many things, my poor sister got to find out how mad we really are, I think we scared her slightly but then she realised that we're nice people =P actually, I haven't fought with her once since then.. good observation rache =) haha!
Now it's our last week of all being together once de la salle and 2nd year naxxar start next week so we're trying to enjoy it best as possible. Last night we had agreat girls night (and then pete and gruppetta invaded for like half an hour at the end haha) how nuts we're so silly.
My day plan is basically do my bio homework, study, (if rob comes over) smash a dressing table over the balcony, private lessons, go out, come in, sleep =P then Jesus and planning fit throughout the day all day long ^^
Until I decide to post avery long blog including nothing of use or intelligence again, so long may God be with you =)

.. a bit of a major dilhemma

*very brief, in a bit of a hurry to get started*
Ouch, today was quite a blow.
I'm facing a dilhemma and I honestly do not know what to do.
I'm officially schooless.
Naxxar, the school that accepts everyone, didn't accept me.
So, I'm iether studying on my own for the year and doing my As and hoping to do well because I really am going to push myself, or do first year again as revision and study second year at home and do my As ladida. Point is, I have to get my Alevels in 2009- no doubt!
And even though many many people do sixth form on their own by the end of it, it came as a shock.
So I'm just praying and thinking about what to do with this year and hopefully it will be the right desicion, after all, it's quite a big one..
So if you have any spare time please pray for me, it will be much appreciated =)
In the meantime, God knows what's going to happen and I have to keep praising and not let something this stupid stop me from concentrating and living for Him.
I'm off to go and sort myself out and then start studying I guess.
After all, it can't be that bad, can it?

just another day

Being as i spent so long without posting, I shall make it up to my blog, and myself, with the lamest most odd updates ever- because I missed it =P
So last night I worked for around 3 hours max, then joanna and I had a drink and shared a bowl of chips whilst "watching the game". We sat down and ordered the chips together with a heavenly angel (strawberries, banana, ice etc hehe) for jo and a silky stocking for me (chocolate, tequila, cream bla bla bla). Two very delicious drinks (except I don't like banana so I can't really call the heavenly angel delicious). As they slowly arrived at our table *story mode* darren, the barman, was just staring at us- immediate reaction; something's wrong with our drinks XD
So we figured out what extra ingredient came with both of them.. Whilst mine was a little hidden message "ara tisker cassa" pinned to the garnish, joanna's was somewhat nastier- but I ended up getting the full dose >.<
Tabasco. Not too tasty =P
I mean I was quite reluctant to have the first sip knowing that it would be all bananay and the taste would just stick in my mouth like a horrid medicine, but I never expected that burning sensation XD talk about an unexpected attack haha! So, yeah, that's it really.
It's kinda like when you fall for temptation I guess, it seems so appealing and then wow- in your face. That's what the devil does, he's so charming, so sexy, yet so dangerous. And like in my case, knowing that I wouldn't like it i took a sip anyway. It's like accepting sin even when we know it's wrong, knowing that we will have to face consequences in the end, but not realising just how bad they really will be.
Oh and jumping to a totally different picture, I have to apply at naxxar on wednesday.. not fair!! I enjoyed being schooless for the second summer in a row, I can't believe I'm going to second year and not going back to junior collage is pretty damn weird.. But I get to spend more time with my pumpkin *finally* God I missed being at school with kris. And obviously I get to be at school with ed and pete etc etc etcccc. How grand. So once again I'll be like a little cheerio floating amongst many anothers in a bowl of milk *staring down at my own bowl of milky cheerios* so alone, yet so surrounded. Hopefully I'll find a future destination this year, keep praying- that's the key.
Well if anyone bothered to read this, well done =P
God bless you all ^^
*happy birthday chrissy ahhhh*

"the grass is greener, the toilets are cleaner; this is Soul Survivor"

Hello world!!

Ok so I had a problem with being able to blog before, kinda like a blogging blockage? Not that my pc wasn't letting me, or I had nothing to blog about, but I would be staring at my monitor for ages just wishing I was blogging but I just couldn't. Does is make any sense to any one? Well, as odd as it may sound, it is honest to goodness what really happened =P

So, soul survivor was amazing (as expected). A total renewal all over again, as if my tank was being refilled with the Holy Spirit, wooo totally on fire for God =D I didn't keep my daily diary thing haha and I didn't go to all the talks and I didn't manage to do everything that I planned on doing but wow, from the moment we arrived it was awesome- even the coach ride wasn't too boring =O

On arriving at soul survivor and putting our stuff down and switching tents cos the zips were broken (teehee) I went to do my hour of aloneness running around but ended up giving miguel a guided tour and ended up venturing into the big top and be present for sam parker's sound check *melt!!* ahhh awesome, honestly! God's presence was so intense even with just the band/sound teem (plus mig and I haha) being there, just let myself worship for a couple of minutes and then ran away, oh and in the meantime getting a milkshake and giant milky buttons haha!

The week helped me to (get to know myself better together with people on a different level..) realise things, it was a total wake up call and just snapped me into reality. We met some amazing people, old and new which is really cool =) ahhh and we got to "explore" the place this year being as we were pretty far off from everything haha! I had my supply of things to live on (mecrocaine, islamoos, ventolin, diet coke and milky buttons >.<) so that was pretty cool having a stash in my bag/by my side all the time.

I ended up being totally shattered both emotionally and physically (no voice all week and my asthma was playing up and yeah, I was in pain =P) but in being so realised how beautiful it is. Somethings were hard to face up to and being myself I didn't manage to let go completely until thursday night/friday morning. But even though I was holding back everything was so amazing. Going there and knowing what was instore for me made it exciting in such a different way to last year and being there was just like finally exhaling after holding my breath for mintues, that kind of satisfactory release- that's probably the best way to describe it.

I didn't plan on explaining soul survivor and I'm not going to, but I do want to share something..

Coming back down to malta was hell for me, all over again. Just as going back up was so fulfilling, coming back here was like a dark grey cloud looming overhead. But I experienced something I didn't expect to when I was back here, y4j- in a different light. Not that it was different in any way, but being back into a community that, fine maybe wasn't as ready as the 11,000 people up in soul survivor, but was ready to worship the Lord gave me comfort and the same kind of "spiritual high" that I got in soul survivor, that was all that I needed after a week of being drowned in Jesusness =D

And as ben told me, this is the best part- the evangelising ^^ God's fire burns inside and, don't know abut you guys, but doesn't let me keep it in. The world should know about God and His love. I've been blessed with knowing the Lord, why should I be selfish and keep it to myself? I feel as if I need to run to every corner of the earth to tell of the Grace that has saved my soul, liften my sorrows and healed my pain- guys, He's saved us, don't you just feel like you'll explode if you don't tell the world the Jesus lives (hillsong rule hehe!) ??!

Ahhh it feels so good to be alive in His Spirit!!

Oh and seeing starfield live was incredbile too!! Talk about worship- wooohoo!

I'm still pretty damn confused about my future =\ to be 1000% honest, the only thing I can really see myself doing is evangelising and living to bring Jesus into the lives of so many people, but is that God's plan? I'm not sure, that's for me to eventually find out. Hopefully soon but all I can really do is pray..

So that's my update I'm guessing. I mean I could go on about nearly overdosing and how I could have died multiple times at soul survivor and back here in malta and have been on steroids and antibiotics and nebulisers, sprays, syrups ladida- but no, I'd rather not- I'm alive and that's what matters =D Then there was maxine's lime part which was grand I must admit even though I wasn't aloud to dance/exert myself out of risk of a heart attack but anyways XD and then, reef rythms.. Now that was good =)

Let's just say that it was more of a success than harmonic shake (last year's "concert"- is it?) us, together with cedarhouse and salt performed at the westin dragonara. Anyways, God totally led us through and everything, apparently, turned out amazingly well!!

Ahhhh life is goooood *eternal life is better*

So I think that I shall now go up and sleep because I must say I'm pretty tired after a very boring night at work whilst everyone was out having fun teehee =P

I'm so glad that I've finally blogged, fine, it's not a good blog at all, but since when does a relatively sick mind function at 2:21am after a night at hanks =P ? Once I've blogged now I'll get back into the routine, I know myself =P

Good night and God bless you all (expecially if you bothered to read this, kidding hehe!)

Oh oh, and happy birthday to romina and luisa =D

Soul Survivor, here we come!!

And finally the time is approaching, the moment we've all been waiting for.. Are you ready for this? Well, here it comes- ladies and gentlemen, SOUL SURVIVOR!!!!!!!

Ahhhhhhhhh! I can't believe it, honestly. I mean, we started counting down at 231 days (I think) and now we'll be on the plane in less than 12 hours =D

Finally, I'm going home =) The idea of being back there just makes me smile so so much.

As expected, I'm "ultra mega superly excited for soul survivor *TOMORROW* yeyy!!" (quoted off my facebook haha) but it's a totally different excitment to last year's. I know exactly what I'm going in for, so it's not like the place is going to be new, even though we're at the opposite side of the campsite this year which would be a grand experience, but I know how it helped to strengthen my faith and how amazing it is to just be living with so many people all for the same reason- GOD. I can be myself and there are no judmental looks are passed my way- everyone's free and diversity rules!! The idea of going back to something that I enjoyed so much last year excites me so so much. To be able to marvel in God's presence back in a field/tent in somerset, all soggy and smothered in mud, is different due to the change in (weather lol) environment. All the green and wetness, everything is so lush ^^

Ok I'm tired so my wording isn't too grand so it's going to be boring to read so I might as well just shut up hehe..

I just can't CAN'T wait to be there, praising God's name with all of my heart and soul and just giving my everything, just letting go once again. It's easier to be so free and open over there because it's totally sincere, desperately praying that y4j becomes that selfless one day..

So, I'll be praying for you all and please pray for us =)

I still have to finish packing and go to the chapel and like, sleep =P Which is actually something good because that means that this afternoon after work I finally decided what to take up and to start packing- typical rache x)

See you all when we come back I guess, we'll all "be changed" as soul survivor itself states and share our experiences and encounters with you.

I hoped to be asleep by around 10, but apparently I won't be once it's half eight and I still have things to do but yeah, it's fine! I probably won't but I'd like to sleep by 11 to get a good five hour's sleep before waking up at 4 to 3 hours on a plane and another 3 on a coach to get to royal bath and west showground- shepton mallet =D (it sounds so great hehe!!) ahhhh can't wait!

So nature calls (teehee) and so does millenium chapel hehe so I'm off..

See most of you soon and to the rest:

God bless you all guys, keep praising =) !! xxxx

living at kris =D

Hello world, I'm back at home..
SO these past few days at kris' house rocked! But like seriously, rocked! Ahh it's so great to just live with a group of insane people that you really really reeeeeally love with all of your heart haha. =)
So the party on wednesday was great, I was dead tired though. I managed about an hour sleep before bio private lessons but after the party we didn't sleep iether (I slept for nearly an hour actually until I got woken up with by weird sentence and bloody fart spray XD) so by 4am we were all singing to singstar on ps2 and laughing and all, but all in all we weren't making tooooo much sound, that is until kris and I decided that it would be funny to imitate charlie bartlet (great film, a must see!) and scream out of the balcony at 5:30am just before watching it again for the second time in two nights XD *video on facebook*
Well the neighbours didn't really appreciate our youthfulness and apart from telling us off twice and during the second time treatening to call the police (both times were in broad daylight might I add), they did send the police for us for making noise at 11am.. IN THE MORNING just in case the 'am' is not clear enough =P So yeah, they threatened to take us to court bla bla pretty lame but yeah- a story to tell haha!
We all just spent the day lazing around at kris and then ordered pizza hut and then I went home for a family ikla thing ladidaa. Oh and pete and I made illustrations for our soon to be released book, "how to brush your teeth- for dummies" that can be viewed on karl's facebook haha.
The next morning rob came over just before I was about to shower and run to kai (I always happen to wake up late when I have to go to karla =\ hmm) and after I showered we both walked down to baystreet and back up with his student group and bought groceries and then I went to kai and he went home. Well from her house, after miguel was very impressed with his own heart hehe, kai and I walked to kris and whilst trying to clear up, she managed to break the sink's plumbing XD how psyco is that!?? Fine, then we realised that it wasn't really broken, but on the verge.. but still, kai broke the sink =P
Anyways, the mustard seed was amazing once again. Spent some time with stefan and matt and realised that it was much needed, but I'll post about that later when things clear out. And after that, like around EIGHTEEN of us slept at kris loool! Kai took up slightly more than half the bed even though we were three and kicked me in the face lol which was slightly disturbing at first but then I laughed. I don't think her and I would make a good married couple, it's the second time she's beat me up whislt sharing a bed >_O
And by 6:30am we were back to singstar XD Then people started to leave and arrive again and by lunchtime we left pete and karla at home whilst kris, tine, louis and I went to mc donalds and gochi for lunch. And then we ventured back up to san gwann and I left and now I'm here blogging and about to go up and get ready for work..
So these few days, in a nutshell, have been a total blast!! "haha alcohol... haha have u ever... haha pony... haha neighbours... haha police... haha bein taken to court" <- that's on kris' nic on msn, so so true! I mean, if we all lived a life without God and with a lot of money, we'd all be alcoholics! Or most of us.. Not to mention other things (like karla trying to rape me *coughcough* lool), but yeah, we've realised quite a lot in these past few days.
We're just an amazing happy family that God has blessed each other with, and it rocks =D



My videos: http://www.facebook.com/video/?id=726570832
My photos:http://www.facebook.com/photos.php?id=726570832&ref=pb
Karl's vidoes: http://www.facebook.com/video/?id=519428315
Karl's photos: http://www.facebook.com/photos.php?id=519428315&ref=pb

Those are the ones out so far, now maxine, kai and zoe have their's to put up =D